The Happening is a movie presenting an interesting premise, but handled to such an extent that we feel like we're watching a 91 minute commercial telling us we need to Go Green.
(Some very minor spoilers ahead)
The movie opens in Central Park with people committing suicide, and then to some skyscrapers with the construction workers jumping off scaffolds, and then to a policeman who shoots himself in the head with his own pistol -- followed by people in his vicinity recycling his gun to kill themselves, as well. This is The Happening. People losing their minds and having uncontrollable suicidal tendencies.
The movie follows Mark Wahlberg as Mark Wahlberg, a high school science teacher (of course), who figures out that the plants are causing The Happening (and the wind spreads it) about ten minutes after most of the audience reaches the same conclusion. His wife, played by Zooey Deschanel, is two-dimensional. She exists only to provide enough dialogue to bump the movie from about 80 minutes to 91 (a manageable theatrical runtime). She's a great actress, and Mark Wahlberg has done well before, but neither fit in with this lackluster script.
The movie's best scene belongs to neither protagonist, but to a hermit Mrs. Jones. Once she becomes under the 'spell,' she smashes her head against the outside of her house (where Mark Wahlberg is hiding inside to avoid the air). Mrs. Jones moves along and uses her head to smash in the windows, which allows for airflow to get inside. In this moment there's more tension than any other -- is Mother Nature forcing her to help, or is it just a quicker method for her to kill herself? A great moment of the film, but it's quickly glanced over and not addressed in favor of some half-hearted recollections of Mark and Zooey's first date.
The film's 'message' is so blatant I feel like I shouldn't even mention it here. We need to stop messing with nature! Wow, really? Thanks. We get it.
Rating: 3/7
6.14.2008
The (Not) Happening
6.13.2008
Top 50 -- 45-41
Let's keep this countdown going!
45. Army of Darkness (1992) || IMDb
Last Year: 36, down 9
Great comedy. Mediocre horror. Plenty of ridiculousness. I still enjoy this movie a lot. Not much else to say, really.
44. Shakespeare in Love (1998) || IMDb
Last Year: 46, up 2
What's better than Shakespeare? A movie about Shakespeare, perhaps. Recently I've become acquainted with lots of Tom Stoppard's writings, and that gives me some newfound appreciation for this movie. Plus, it is still a great movie.
43. Bonnie and Clyde (1967) || IMDb
Last Year: N/A
The scene where Clyde and Bonnie meet is one of my favorite movie moments of all time. Also, reading the script, that writing is great as well. I also like Faye Dunaway a lot, and Warren Beatty is kind of The Man. One of my favorite lines:
[after Clyde shows off his marksmanship with a handgun]
Bonnie Parker: You're good!
Clyde Barrow: I ain't good. I'm the best!
Bonnie Parker: And modest!
42. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) || IMDb
Last Year: 29, down 13
The first real non-critically acclaimed movie on the list. The movie takes a fall, but I still love it. A guilty pleasure, it's one of those movies where I know it's not great or artsy, but something about it just sticks with me. There's this familiarity with the characters that always comforts me.
41. Blazing Saddles (1974) || IMDb
Last Year: 24, down 17
How can one not enjoy the works of Mel Brooks? Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and The Producers are arguably three of the best comedies ever made. A fall, yes, but hey, this movie is still on the list.
Be back tomorrow!
6.12.2008
Yearly Update to the Top 50
As I said last post, I'm going to update my Top 50 Favorite Movies. Here's the deal, for those who are rookies to the list: The emphasis is on favorite movies. Not what I think are the best movies, or movies everyone should see (though there are often connections between all of these). The list is not based on innovation or how many Oscars a movie has, and I won't keep a movie off because I'm embarrassed I like it, just like I won't put a movie on here because I should like it.
My 2006 list can be seen in its entirety here and the 2007 list here.
As always, I will include a little blurb (some will be repetitive from before; I'll try to avoid that) and a link to IMDb. And also, as always, I do think everyone should try to see these movies.
Note: I will not do 'honorable mentions' or anything of the sort because it's a cop out. I'm having a lot of trouble narrowing it down to just 50, and even more sorting them, but I firmly believe that a 'top 50' should only have 50 movies, not 51, 55, or 60.
50. As Good as It Gets (1997) || IMDb
Last Year: N/A
Kicking off the new Top 50 is a new addition. Two words describe why this movie works so well: Jack Nicholson. Here is my favorite performance of his (no exceptions), and I could watch the scenes with him forever. However, this movie barely makes the countdown because some other elements of the movie are a drag. Not a whole package, but good enough.
49. Schindler's List (1993) || IMDb
Last Year: 37, down 12
Still a great, great movie. Again, if this was a list of movie quality, this would be much higher. I enjoy this movie a lot, but others are now closer to my heart.
48. Sabrina (1954) || IMDb
Last Year: 50, up 2
I re-watched this film a few weeks ago, this time paying particular attention to Bogie's character. The way he controls a scene is spectacular, despite the scene-stealer Audrey Hepburn in the starring role. Truly a classic.
47. Jerry Maguire (1996) || IMDb
Last Year: 44, down 3
Down again, but not out. Despite scientology and Elizabethtown, I have very fond memories of this film. The movie is not only about having a heart, but also shows one as well. That's why it's so endearing.
46. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) || IMDb
Last Year: N/A
What a hysterically funny movie. I mean, I really don't know what else to say -- if you've seen this movie, you love it. If you haven't seen it, you need to. Think Borat, except about a rock band. And British. And funny.
As always -- five more movies tomorrow!
Top 50 Returns?
Wow, has it really been over a year since I did my Top 50 Favorite Movies? You know what that means -- I'll have to update my list!
Looking at this old list, I can tell you right now there will be some heavy shifting. My taste has evolved quite a bit over the last 13 months, as my appreciation for old movies continues to blossom and my fan-boy, kiddish tendencies are dying out. Plus last year had some really great movies.
Here is the previous top ten, with the rest after the cut:
1) American Beauty
2) All About Eve
3) It's a Wonderful Life
4) Annie Hall
5) The Godfather
6) Some Like It Hot
7) The Princess Bride
8) The Shawshank Redemption
9) A Streetcar Named Desire
10) A Shot in the Dark
11) Sunset Blvd.
12) Amelie
13) Casablanca
14) Dr. Strangelove
15) Psycho
16) Lilo & Stitch
17) Clue
18) Gone with the Wind
19) Halloween
20) The Producers
21) The Silence of the Lambs
22) Traffic
23) Finding Nemo
24) Blazing Saddles
25) The Departed
26) Chinatown
27) The Godfather: Part II
28) Clerks
29) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
30) Mean Girls
31) Moulin Rouge!
32) The Usual Suspects
33) Reservoir Dogs
34) Chocolat
35) About a Boy
36) Army of Darkness
37) Schindler's List
38) Ghost Busters
39) Love Actually
40) A Night at the Roxbury
41) Match Point
42) Mallrats
43) Spirited Away
44) Jerry Maguire
45) Breakfast at Tiffany's
46) Shakespeare in Love
47) The Shining
48) My Cousin Vinny
49) Fargo
50) Sabrina
6.11.2008
Top Chef Chicago -- Finale
Here it is, the season finale. Stephanie, Richard, and Lisa remain. I'm glad Richard agrees with, well, everyone, in that Lisa should not be in the top three.
Is it bad that I don't recognize any of these supposed cullinary Gods? Maybe I'm watching the wrong reality TV show. Nah, that's definitely not it. Oh, and Bravo is advertising that there's a shocking winner no one will believe. Hopefully that doesn't mean it's Lisa. Hopefully they're just trying to throw us all off.
Also, what's up, Padma in your blue dress. Also, she's not wearing a bra, so naturally I'm a big fan of that.
Go Stephanie for getting your first choice of which chef to be her sous chef. I think it's kind of funny, though, that the Top Chefs have these ridiculously good people as their sous chefs. Role reversal, I guess?
Richard brought liquid nitrogen as his one special tool. He's so ridiculous with all these gadgets. I want to know what Stephanie and Lisa brought. I doubt they will show it though, because I doubt it's as cool as liquid nitrogen.
[sidenote: How bad do the Bravo's A-List Awards look?]
What a predictable curve-ball from Tom. No more sous chefs? Makes sense, that means no one else can be blamed and no one has an advantage. This is obviously better. And more work for the Chefs. Score!
I don't like how calm Lisa seems... I hope this is not a bad sign. For the record, I want Stephanie to win, would be fine with Richard winning, and would be very annoyed if Lisa won.
Padma, are you really wearing that for the finale? Girl I think you should aim a little higher. I mean, she still looks gorgeous, but I'm not feeling the red.
Sweet, we finally have Gail and Ted back to judge on the same episode.
All right, appetizers are out and Stephanie appears to have the favorite. It also had the best presentation, though Richard's looked delicious.
Man, second course looks like Lisa dominated. Stephanie and Richard struck out, it looks like. Again though, Stephanie's looked delicious.
Richard doesn't do well on the third dish. Man, he's falling out. Lisa's seemed to go all right, but called out for using the same sauce. Stephanie takes the third dish by a landslide.
Lisa's dessert went well, I guess. Richard's, the same. Stephanie's dessert didn't go superb but they didn't call her out too badly. I guess that's good?
Damn Padma, don't think I can't see those tan lines. Another reason she shouldn't have gone with that outfit.
------
All right, time for Judges' Table.
It's interesting how all the Chefs talk at Judges' Table. Richard tries to explain, but when he has criticism, he just says, "Okay." Lisa bitches and whines and stuff. Stephanie is very humble and seems constantly nervous. I like it.
"The lamb was cooked perfectly and I was like 'woohoo!' " Man, Stephanie is great.
Holy crap! Richard saying he choked... I mean, it seems he did, but him actually saying that as his closing statement after the other two say they deserve it? Wow, what the hell?
These 'polls by course' are killing me. It makes me want to predict how the judges will go, but that's just a red herring. Maybe....
So the results for the Top Chef poll: Who do you think should be Top Chef:
Lisa: 4%
Richard: 36%
Stephanie: 60%
................. hilarious.
YES!!!!!!! Go Stephanie! Yeah, that's right, she was my favorite and my pick from the beginning. And she deserved it. Yay!
In conclusion: Good season, and I can still deal with marrying Padma because she picked the correct winner.
We'll be back for the next Bravo reality show, whatever it is.
6.06.2008
Spike Lee is stupid; Clint Eastwood is Smart
A few weeks ago Spike Lee attacked Clint Eastwood's films Flags of our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima, stating things such as, "While refraining from using the word 'racist', Lee said that rewriting Second World War history was typical of Hollywood."
I do not like Spike Lee. His movies are mediocre and seem to always be spouting the same tune. And I kind of get the feeling this latest charade is simply to promote his own movie about black soldiers.
However, today (or yesterday, maybe) Clint Eastwood gave a response, which is worded so well I won't butcher it with a synopsis. BBC News reports:
"The story is Flags of Our Fathers, the famous flag-raising picture, and they didn't do that," he told the Guardian. "It's not accurate."
Eastwood added that he would not compromise the facts with future projects.
"I'm not in that game. I'm playing it the way I read it historically, and that's the way it is," he said.
"When I do a picture and it's 90% black, like Bird, I use 90% black people," said Eastwood
Exactly. None of the flag-raisers were black, so why should he change the race of those specific heroes? Eastwood says, "I'm not going to make Nelson Mandela a white guy." Exactly. You cannot re-write the color of a person's skin in the history books. I'm sure a director would get even more flak for ruining historical accuracy than, I don't know, not.
6.05.2008
Top Chef -- Puerto Rico
First, I want to preface with a statement: I am slightly inebriated. So posting will be short and swift. Most of my focus will be on personal enjoyment of the episode. Also, I love Padma. And she looks gorgeous in this tropical shirt/dress thing.
Anyway, on to the episode.
Padma drinking beer... did I mention she’s the best ever? I bet she’s only doing it to save face, though (because the guest judge mentioned it in the description of the dish).
Holler at Stephanie winning the quickfire. I like her a lot. Funny that it took her this long to get a quickfire win.
Padma can sell her crap better than anyone. “This has been the private residence of all Puerto Rico’s governors since the 1300s, so we’re very honored to be here.” Whatever.
So... what’s with the last four eliminated contestants showing up in Puerto Rico? I mean, cool that they got a free trip? Yes? Sure. More Spike is always good. But Nikki annoys me, so we need less of her.
Why is Lisa still here? Still on this show? Still alive? She bugs me to no end, is a horrible chef, and her haircut is just... I can’t even talk about that.
What the FUCK DALE?! IF YOU GET STEPHANIE SENT HOME (for leaving the meat out) I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!!...........
Why is Padma wearing a toga?... I don’t know what to think about this. It’s okay though, she can do no wrong in my book. (I’m sorry. I promise this will not turn into a praise-Padma blog.)
Okay, just kidding. Padma looks gorgeous in a toga. And also, just kidding, this may end up as a praise-Padma blog.
YES! LISA AND ANTONIA IN THE BOTTOM! TWO BITCHES I HATE! Score.
Richard wins, though. That’s cool, I guess. At least Stephanie can still win in the finale! Plus, Stephanie winning the car would be kind of tragic, since we all know women drivers are the number two problem for our nation. I guess Padma is just looking out for the innocent bystanders.
Antonia says, “I really don’t wanna go home. I really, really don’t wanna go home.” If I was there, I would’ve said something like, “NO SHIT, NONE OF US DO, THAT’S WHY WE’RE ON THIS SHOW!”
Um... roflmfao @ 91% of people thinking Lisa should pack her knives and go.
Damn........................................................................... Antonia packing up? I’m... kind of shocked. Lisa is freaking awful. She’s worse than Antonia, Spike, and Dale. Maybe even Andrew and Nikki. I can’t believe she’s in the final three.
Oh well, Go Stephanie!
6.01.2008
MTV is Awfully Retarded
MTV can do no right. Just taking one look at their list of nominated movies makes me cringe. Well, not only did they nominate all the worst films, but the winners are even worse. Get the full scoop after the cut.
Best Kiss
The winners here were from the movie Step Up 2 the Streets, which I can sadly say that I've seen. But why the hell did this win? I was predicting a Disturbia win (kiddies love their Shia LaBeouf), but I think Enchanted of Juno should have won. Seriously....
Best Fight
What are these categories? Some stupid no-names from Never Back Down took this one, as opposed to the amazingness in The Bourne Ultimatum.
Breakthrough Performance
I don't mind Zac Efron, and I don't mind that he won. But how is this his 'breakthrough' performance? Wasn't he in like 4 High School Musical movies? I don't even like her, but Nikki Blonsky should have had this hands down.
Best Female Performance
At least this one is correct: Ellen Page for Juno. Amy Adams would've been nice. Katherine Heigl is a joke and should be expelled from the realm of acting.
Best Summer Movie So Far
Is this really a category? 'So far?' This alone proves how awful the award show timing is. Iron Man rightfully won this, though.
Best Comedic Performance
Johnny Depp? Really? Maybe circa two Pirates movies ago. However, much better than the alternatives. Except Amy Adams, who deserved this. Seriously, she's so great with so little acknowledgment.
Best Villain
Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd. Yay? Javier Bardem should have won this, but I won't complain too much.
Best Movie
Transformers? Really? That is actually the worst movie on the list, spare maybe National Treasure 2.
Best Male Performance
Will Smith for I Am Legend. I can't hate too much, though my preference would be Matt Damon. Or Denzel. Or Michael Cera.
I hate MTV.....
I Think I'll Just Watch North by Northwest Again
Funny, this is by the director of Disturbia -- another mimicry of a Hitchcock film. Let's see how many more classics he can ruin!
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