Big Brother Pisses Me Off

So, naturally, nothing I hoped would happen on Big Brother did. Ryan, the worst person in the world, won the POV, so James was nominated. And then he continued to give hope for James to stay -- as did Sheila -- but like all season, no one wants to take risks and enjoys playing safe.

Also, I hate hate hate hate Natalie. She is so stupid, thinks she's so smart, and that's the worst. Thank you James for making fun of her.

Sheila won HOH, so the rumor is. Hopefully Ryan or Natalie go home. I would be happy.

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I was at work tonight doing whatever, and these kids came up to me. Conversation went something like this:

Girls: What's your name?

Jon: Why, do I look like someone you know?

Girls: Yeah. What's your name?

Jon: What's your friend's name, and I'll tell you if it's the same as mine.

[at this point I think maybe they have me confused with my brother]

Girls: Warren, or _______, or ___________ (they said a few W names).

Jon: Nope. Does your friend live here?

Girls: No. We're from Tennessee.

Jon: Then why would I be, or know, him? I'm working here, so obviously I live here.

Girls: I don't know..........

Man, some people . . . .

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Earlier I was watching the Braves/Marlins game on TBS, and in the first inning, one of the guys hit the ball deep into the outfield (I forget which side, I think RF). Now the ball looked like it would be close to a home run, and one of the fans sitting back there f'ing reached over the fence to catch the ball. In the replay it clearly showed him sticking his hands below the yellow line, where the ball would've hit and not have been a home run.

What the hell kind of asshole fan would ruin the game like that? If it's out of there, fine, but he had to REACH DOWN to grab it. Batter gets a double, when it could've potentially been a triple, or an out. I think this was before the 3-run homer, so this could've probably changed the whole game. Well, in the end it wasn't actually close, but in theory... Use common sense, people.

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This afternoon I was watching the new Stepford Wives on FX (terrible movie, but...). They have this 'DVD on TV' theme, where they show deleted scenes or trivia and whatnot. During one of these, at the bottom, it said:

Both Bette Midler and Nicole Kindman were born in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Now, maybe it's just me, but I'd think that on such a big network, i.e. FX, they could at least spend ten seconds to proofread their information before misspelling the last name of one of the most popular actresses of today. Just sayin'...

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The other night I went to Wal Mart to pick up some beer, and naturally I was carded. My birthday is December 20th.

So I hand the lady my ID and she says, "Hey, you were born on the same day as my daughter."

I'm like, "Really? That's cool... though I assume she's a lot younger than me."

"She was born on December 21st," she says.

So I'm thinking, Okay, then why the hell did you say we were born on the same day, you idiot?

There's not really a punch line, other than that lady doesn't understand the 20th and the 21st aren't the same day.

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First, and most importantly, appletinis are amazing, and having a few of those should explain any typos in this post. Also, I'm on someone else's laptop and their keyboard, while it has a certain finesse, is oddly paranormal (is that really a word?).

Saw II is terrible.

No but seriously, earlier I had a fiction workshop, and the whole class had a lot of problems with the story. Then, at the end when the author can ask questions, she tried to justify her story, like, "You guys didn't get the metaphor," or, "I hinted at this this way," though no one got it and the whole thing needed a lot of work. News flash: if you need to explain your writing and motifs, it's your fault for crappy writing, not the readers' fault for not getting it. Basic new criticism, ENG 3014, a prereq. for any upper-level class. Sup?

In conclusion, only one more class before spring break. Score!

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Word of the day: 'incredulous(ly)'

I was in one of my workshops today and one girl had a pretty badly proofread manuscript (lots of typos and gramatical errors), and while we were critiquing it, another girl said something like, "It seemed like you used too many big words, some of which I don't even think are real words. Like, _________, or ________, or in..credu...lously..."

So, I think the first two were actually made up, but when she said the last one, the whole class was like, "...incredulously is a real word, it's like 'skeptical'." It was pretty amazing.

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Yesterday I was at a lazer tag place, and there's a playground there, inside by the waiting area. There was this kid, probably about ten years-old, and he stood on top of some platform and yelled, "I'm the king of the world!" with his arms out.

I looked for his parents, who are smiling, then I shook my head. First, I'm surprised he's seen that movie, since it's PG-13, and came out probably the same year he was born. Secondly, because kids are annoying in general.

But then I thought about it, and looked at it this way. If I'm so disapproving of kids yelling out movie quotes from before their time like they know what they're talking about, I wonder what the generation before me thinks when I quote 'The Godfather' or 'Annie Hall' or any other of the hundreds of movies I've seen that were popular before I was born.

My general conclusion, though, was that I've had time to watch these movies and know what they're about and understand them, while this kid probably has no idea how significant a movie like 'Titanic' is, and just watched it because that was the only way his parents would let him stay up past his bedtime. I win.

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Today I was at an Old Navy store, and while my friend was buying something, I noticed that the debit machines had this sticker on them:

"Use your Old Navy card now and be closer to getting your next $10 bucks back."

So, when read aloud, the last part says, "your next ten dollars bucks back."

Brilliant!

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Until tonight I had a good deal of respect for AFI (American Film Institute, not the band). As usual, they announced the movies they think were the best 10 of the year. There's a jury or 13 people who debate about it and whatnot. Anyway, here's the list:

BABEL
BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
DREAMGIRLS
HALF NELSON
HAPPY FEET
INSIDE MAN
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
UNITED 93

This is clearly some kind of joke. I have no desire to see Borat, but I don't even have a problem with that being on the list. I'm also glad Devil Wears Prada is on there, but does anyone else notice a significant gap? Obviously 'The Departed' should be on there, regardless of taste in movies and personal opinions. That movie was amazing in every aspect, and to be written off like this must be some kind of joke. I guess AFI plans on releasing their real list tomorrow, which replaces any of these movies, particularly Inside Man (...), with The Departed.

Oh, and I think 'The Queen' wasn't on there because it's not an American movie. If it was eligable and not on that list, I'd be even more upset, but...

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For those of you who don't see me on a regular basis, know this: I have a red t-shirt that had REDRUM written on it. This is a reference to the movie 'The Shining.'

A few minutes ago I went to Wal Mart to buy some stuff, and the cashier said, "Why do you have murder written on your shirt?"

"Uh, it says redrum. It's from a The Shining."

"I know, I've seen the movie, that's why I said 'murder.' Why would you get that on a shirt?"

"I like the movie."

"But why would you wear that out in public, unless it was Halloween?"

I didn't respond. It's like, ok, so people shouldn't be allowed to get random items or words or trademarks or pictures from movies put on shirts because it's not a certain time of year? Hell, why don't we take away slogan expression on shirts in general, and only allow plain colored shirts to be worn, and on Wednesdays you can be creative and pick either plaid or stripes. YAY!

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The other day I was studying on the first floor of the campus library with a friend of mine. This moderately cute girl came up to us and was like, "Can you help me find these books?" She said that there should be someone on the first floor to help her out, but there wasn't (there never is). I volunteered to help her, and she asked how the system worked. I explained that you just look at the cards placed on the sides of the aisles, which are in descending/ascending order, and go from there. She was like, "Oh," and I took her to where the first book should be.

"What's the book called?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"...well, it's not here, so maybe it's checked out. What did it say in the computer?"

"I didn't look it up, some guy upstairs gave me the call numbers."

So, she was an idiot, and I was getting annoyed. She asked again how to find the books, so I explained it AGAIN, and left her alone. Seriously, when you get into college, they explain all this to you, but how do you even get into college without knowing how to find a book in a library? The worst part was that she was a full-on Monet.

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Hollywoodland: 7.5/10
The Philadelphia Story: 8/10
All About Eve: 10/10 (amending this previous score. What a perfect movie.)

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Yesterday I was taking the shuttle to my 10:30 class. All the seats were full so I was one of a handful of people standing. We were pulling out of my apartment complex when the shuttle came to a jerking stop (I almost fell on a few people, but luckily I was holding the handrail). I look up front and see our shuttle driver arguing with this black girl (this whole thing may sound racist, but I assure you it's not - the girl just happened to be black) because she sat in the front on this platform thing next to the driver's seat (technically you're not supposed to sit there, but when the shuttle's full, people always do and no one cares).

So the bus is stopped and I'm standing there, at this point still trying to figure out what's going on. The driver finally says, "I'm not going until she apologizes." What?! You drive a fucking bus, you're not our parent. It is your job to drive the bus, not to lecture us on manners. Yes, the girl was being idiotic and rude, but you don't have the right to make 50 people late for their classes because you want an apology.

So the girl was being a stubborn prick, and the driver got off the bus and made a phone call. This was after about five minutes. 90% chance he called one of his driver friends or his boss to ask if he would do what he was doing, and 100% chance they told him, "No, now go drive the fucking bus."

So he got back on and we went to campus. During the ride they both made phone calls and were both telling the situations in their own words, which was pretty funny since they were right next to each other. People like that suck.

Spirited Away - 9/10
Little Miss Sunshine - 8.5/10
Network - 8/10

Edit 10/18/2008: Network should be a 10/10, and Spirited Away as well. I failed at recognizing classics.

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Today in one of my writing workshops the teacher was doing a class exercise where she put first lines from short stories/novels on the overhead, and then asked the class for a 'yay' or 'nay,' on whether they would keep reading based only on that sentence.

I don't remember the quote or novel or anything, but after numerous one-liners, there was one sentence that took up 3 lines in the Word document, so there were a few commas and a couple thoughts combined. Actually, it was probably as long as the sentence just before this one. A few people in the class said 'nay,' and she asked why. This one girl said, "I don't know, the sentence seemed too long." Then I muttered, "Well then what do you read, Dr. Seuss?" Of course, when I said that, the class got quiet, and the teacher asked me to repeat what I said.

So I elaborated (slightly), and said something like, "Well if three lines is too long, what do you read, Dr. Seuss? I mean, come on..." The girl got all defensive, and started to explain what she meant, but a majority of the class was still laughing at my comment.

Funny aftermath - when we set out to do group work, she sat next to me in our small groups, so I almost felt bad. And for the record, I have nothing against Dr. Seuss.

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels - Not without flaws, but lots of fun to watch. 8/10

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Allow me to give a brief lesson in gas station etiquette.

Today I had to take a long drive down a long stretch of interstate, and inevitably I needed to stop for gas, so I pulled off a the nearest exit.

This was in the middle of nowhere. There were hand painted signs advertising Florida oranges and t-shirts at the amazing price of 2 for $7.00.

The first gas station I pulled up to didn't have the option to pay at the pump with a credit/debit card and required going inside first. Being annoyed at the lack of technology, bundled with my previous annoyance at an obvious lack of cleanliness and civilization, pushed me to go to a different gas station. I don't believe in paying first because I have no idea how much it costs to fill up my tank. Sure, I could estimate, but F that.

So I go to the gas station next door, which to my delight has a pay-at-pump option. It was fairly crowded with idiots from Iowa, and they were all on the right side of the pumps (because apparently most cars fill up on the left side). I drive around in a circle and begin to pull forward in the opposite direction, only to see a "One Way" sign. So the logic for this place was that it doesn't matter that there is a line for the only four pumps available to the majority of the population, if you're not in the minority of the car gas tank placement demographic, you are unable to utilize the other 4 empty, working pumps, because that would make too much sense.

To top it off, the idiots from Iowa, who were all driving beat up pickup trucks and worn out minivans, looked like typical southern inbred hicks (which didn't make sense since they were from Iowa). Even the old grandpa was walking around with his beer belly and shirt off (until he put on a tank top filled with holes to be allowed inside). Normally I have nothing against people like this, but when they start filling their house on wheels up with gas, leave halfway through to go inside and shop, then come out, fill up the tank some more, go inside, pay, then come out and tell their kids to go inside to use the bathroom, I get very annoyed.

I hate people.

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I really hate Paris Hilton. There's numerous reasons for this, but one of the most lingering is how full of herself she is. Here's an example:

“I think every decade has an iconic blonde — like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana — and right now, I’m that icon.” Link

You've got to be kidding me. Marilyn Monroe worked her way up to stardom. Marilyn Monroe was sexy. Marilyn Monroe was an icon, could actually act (towards the end of her career), and was an innovator (with her image). Paris Hilton is a narcissistic bitch who was born with $34987539846379679 and the only thing she does is go around promoting herself.

It's tragic that both Marilyn and Princess Di had their lives ended before their time was up - and maybe I'll go to Hell for saying this - but hopefully Paris follows them sometime soon, in one way or another.

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I will never understand movie producers, or the general public opinion on movies. How does some of the stuff that's come out even get green lighted, much less made and released widely in theaters? I'm not even talking about 'John Tucker Must Die' or 'My Super Ex-Girlfriend'-bad, because at least those movies have some appeal. I'm talking about 'Little Man,' 'Garfield 2,' and 'Scary Movie 9823498792'-bad - movies which would only be seen by people no smarter than the popcorn they're munching on.

It's so stupid how if you go to Blockbuster they may not have any copies of 'All About Eve' or 'Sunset Boulevard,' two amazing older pieces of cinema, but they'll have 30 DVDs of 'White Chicks.'

Then there's the people whose thought process goes something like this:

"Oh my God, 'Fantastic Four' was the best movie EVER! Jessica Alba is SO HOT! 'Chinatown?' Who the hell is Roman Polanski? 'A Streetcar Named Desire?' Black and white movies are soooo boring! I can't wait until they make a 'Fast and the Furious 4' because the other 3 were so fucking cool."

Not that I'm some movie guru or anything, but I wish the masses could at realize that they are picking up the trash that's being peddled to them, which leads to more trash being produced, because it's easy money for the studios. I know a lot of movie judgment is based on opinion, and I like my fair share of movies that are barely "decent," but sometimes you have to be a true dunce to like, or even pay to see, some of the crap that comes out. Yes, I'm talking about you, people who saw 'You Got Served.'

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At work earlier today a girl who looked about 25 walked by. She was normally dressed and very ordinary, except she had a small piercing in her left eyebrow. No tattoos or excessive piercings or anything like that, just an everyday girl with a pierced eyebrow.

So the girl walked away, then some old lady behind her came up and started rambling, saying something like, "Can you believe that? Kids these days. If God wanted holes in our body, he would've put them there." That's a direct quote.

I shrugged it off, since I really don't care what people ramble about while I'm at work. Then a second later I looked at her ears, and as expected, she had some enormous earrings on. Well, 'enormous' by my standards. About the size of a quarter.

Some people need to think a little more about how they go around preaching, especially when they're doing the exact same thing they're looking down on.

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Today I saw this Women's Magazine that had on the cover something like The Da Vinci Code Diet! WHAT THE HELL?!

I can somewhat understand the obsession over a popular (note the word 'popular' and not 'good) novel-turned-movie, but come on. Maybe I just don't get it, but I don't know how Leonardo Da Vinci, Dan Brown, or Tom Hanks can help you lose weight. Unless, of course, you keep a strict routine where you're only allowed to eat when there's a good line of dialogue in the movie, because then you'd be sure to starve. Akiva Goldsman needs to write more 'A Beautiful Mind' and less 'Batman & Robin'/'Batman Forever.'

People are going crazy over this movie . . . good thing X-men 3 comes out next week and will dominate everything.

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Late last night I was going to Waffle House with my friend David. While in the car I found my pair of Aviator Glasses and decided to wear them inside while we ate.

We saw inside at a booth waiting for two other people we were meeting to show up. Our server, some older, disgusting looking lady, came up and tried to start a conversation with us (me) about my glasses.

"Is it too bright in here for you?"

"Yeah," I said, and being the compulsive liar I am, I continued, "my eyes got messed up today."

"Really? Are they bloodshot?"

"Kind of, a little bit, but they're also dilated. I had to go to the doctor."

"Can I see?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's bad." (Obviously I didn't want to take my glasses off since there was nothing wrong with my eyes.)

"Well that's not fair, let me see."

"Well, life's not fair."

At this point David interjected with something along the lines of, "His girlfriend punched him in the face?"

I started laughing (because of that, but also because of the whole situation [David was already hiding his laughter. His valiant attempt to save me will not be forgotten.]), and said I didn't have a black eye from my girlfriend (because it would take more than sunglasses to hide that).

She asked me once more to take off my glasses, to which I said "No," and then she took our drink order.

It irritated me a bit. She kept on badgering me when I clearly didn't want to show her my embarassing eye condition. Suppose I really had messed up my eyes. So inconsiderate.

Normally I tip well since I worked in a restaurant for two years and know how things work, but that annoyed me so much I didn't leave her anything.

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