I'm So Funny

I'm so funny. And the best part is that I explain my jokes so lesser mortals get them. Not Ryan, though. I'm sure he would have gotten it. But I can't risk that, can I?

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The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006) - IMDb - It's rare when a movie sequel comes along that makes the original look like child's play. This is one of those times, with the second installment of this widley popular series coming straight-to-DVD earlier this year. Don't let the trailer fool you - with the first 30 seconds being clips from the first movie - this movie is an emotionally charged, epic rollercoaster. From John R. Leonetti, the acclaimed director of 'Mortal Kombat: Annihilation,' we see his triumphant return to the world of glamour and prestige, the world of movies. This is also another trophy in writer Michael D. Weiss' collection, following other gems such as 'Octopus,' 'Octopus 2: River of Fear,' 'Disaster,' and 'Death Train.' His body of work is so spectacular that I like to imagine all his titles put into one screenplay, and I come up with 'Octopus, Crocodile, U.S. Seals, and the Disastrous Death Train Effect Over the River of Fear 2.' That screenplay has 'Oscar' written all over it. Even without all the Crocodiles and Seals', 'Butterfly Effect 2' is a stand-alone work of genius and I don't see how it could go unnoticed by the Academy this coming Oscar season. Beg, borrow, steal - someway, somehow, see this movie.

Rating: 10/10

This post dedicated to Russell Miller.

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Today I was eating lunch at Panera with a friend, and we were sitting down at a table in the middle of the place. From the moment we sat down until about 20 minutes later there was this girl, probably twelve years old, with a hideous half jean, half camo skirt, running back and forth, getting refills for what most likely seemed like a 20 person family, fetching napkins, doing all these stupid things that involved repeatedly walking into my line of sight and behind my chair.

So being the jerk I am, I started saying stuff like, "If that girl doesn't sit the fuck down I'm going to knock her over." (something to that extent)

Once we left, my friend said to me, "You know that girl you were checking out sitting behind us?" So I say, "The one in the black shirt?" (Because there was indeed some girl in a black shirt who I was 'checking out' when she walked by, though I didn't know she was sitting behind us [behind me].)

"Yeah, her," she says.

"What about her?"

"When you were talking about knocking over that little girl, she overheard us and was laughing too."

So that's one of my goals in life, to be able to please strangers when they overhear my conversations about being insensitive and knocking down little kids. Well, and also I thought I was being pretty discreet while looking at that girl. Oh well, I'm a guy and I can't help it.

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It took me 12 years of grade school and 3 years of college to find out a practical use for index cards (other than killing trees).

Edit 9/3/2008: What could it have been? I cannot remember! This is awful!

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Tonight, watching a re-run of Jay Leno, I realized something about my taste in comedy.

Most of the jokes were not funny nor witty, yet yielded a decent audience response with plenty of laughter.

Then Jay did a semi-racist joke. He started off talking about that show 'Dancing with the Stars,' which was a terrible beginning. Then he said, "Yes, Dancing with the Stars, unless, of course, you're in China, then it's called Dancing with SARS."

So this is the first joke I laugh at all show, and I notice that in the audience there's maybe 10 people laughing hysterically and the whole rest of the audience booing or making disgusted sounds.

Is is bad to have a minority comedic taste?

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