Allow me to give a brief lesson in gas station etiquette.

Today I had to take a long drive down a long stretch of interstate, and inevitably I needed to stop for gas, so I pulled off a the nearest exit.

This was in the middle of nowhere. There were hand painted signs advertising Florida oranges and t-shirts at the amazing price of 2 for $7.00.

The first gas station I pulled up to didn't have the option to pay at the pump with a credit/debit card and required going inside first. Being annoyed at the lack of technology, bundled with my previous annoyance at an obvious lack of cleanliness and civilization, pushed me to go to a different gas station. I don't believe in paying first because I have no idea how much it costs to fill up my tank. Sure, I could estimate, but F that.

So I go to the gas station next door, which to my delight has a pay-at-pump option. It was fairly crowded with idiots from Iowa, and they were all on the right side of the pumps (because apparently most cars fill up on the left side). I drive around in a circle and begin to pull forward in the opposite direction, only to see a "One Way" sign. So the logic for this place was that it doesn't matter that there is a line for the only four pumps available to the majority of the population, if you're not in the minority of the car gas tank placement demographic, you are unable to utilize the other 4 empty, working pumps, because that would make too much sense.

To top it off, the idiots from Iowa, who were all driving beat up pickup trucks and worn out minivans, looked like typical southern inbred hicks (which didn't make sense since they were from Iowa). Even the old grandpa was walking around with his beer belly and shirt off (until he put on a tank top filled with holes to be allowed inside). Normally I have nothing against people like this, but when they start filling their house on wheels up with gas, leave halfway through to go inside and shop, then come out, fill up the tank some more, go inside, pay, then come out and tell their kids to go inside to use the bathroom, I get very annoyed.

I hate people.