Top Chef -- Common Threads

This week there's some serious product placement for the 90 second Uncle Ben microwaveable rice. It's funny watching real cooks, seeing how they have to read the directions because they usually make their own pro, amazing rice. But I know that shiznit by heart and could school them in rice microwaving. I would've won the Quickfire and gotten immunity for sure.

The fact that Antonia won the Quickfire bugs me. Reality TV is so bittersweet. When the people I like win, it's fantastic, and when people I hate win, I want to scream at my television. Well, here I am, screaming. Figuratively, of course.

Elimination challenge: A meal for four that costs no more than $10. Hello, Betty Crocker Complete Meals. You can get four of them for $10. And they're supposed to feed quite a few people. Done, a dozen people fed.

Also, I would hate to work at the Whole Foods in Chicago. Watching the cooks slave at the register trying to get their food under $10 would be tedious. Then again, I would get to meet the contestants, so it would be a decent trade-off.

I don't know how I feel about kids being in the kitchen with the chefs. I mean on the one hand, they help out, but they have to have things explained to them. And they probably got in the way, and I mean kids are annoying in general. Good thing Chef Tom was there to make sure the kids did stuff, or else I'm sure some people would be like me and just tell them to stay out of the way and watch.

Yet again, a judge is missing this week. No Ted is annoying, but hey, Gail is here. Kind of frustrating.

And here we are again. Antonia winning twice in one episode is like a nightmare. Would've been nice to see Andrew win. Sigh.

I like how in the bottom three Mark called Gail out on saying his dish didn't have enough protein. Maybe it tastes bad, but vegetarian dishes should be valid every now and then. Well played, Mark. Maybe you're not the best cook, but you're a character.

Stephanie is in the bottom again. This is ruining my theories, Bravo!

I feel bad for Mark going home. Honestly, I think Stephanie did the worst. I think they give Stephanie a bit more credit because she won a few challenges. And Padma, even though you sent Mark home instead of Lisa (who I dislike), we should still get married. I won't hold a grudge.

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PTA is Wise

Forewarning that this will partially be a rant, heavily influenced by personal bias and inexplicable emotions.

According to the IMDb page for Paul Thomas Anderson, he has said this quote:

I have a feeling, one of those gut feelings, that I'll make pretty good movies the rest of my life. And maybe I'll make some clunkers, maybe I'll make some winners, but I guess the way that I really feel is that Magnolia (1999) is, for better or worse, the best movie I'll ever make.

I wish I knew when he said that quote, because it appears to be right on point.

His chief filmography, in order, includes Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love, and There Will Be Blood. Tonight I watched Punch-Drunk Love. I've seen all of those films, and have to agree -- they're all 'pretty good,' and Magnolia is the best of the bunch.

It seems like all these film students I've met and people I've encountered that try to be artsy and cool praise PTA, like he's the next Coppola or Bergman or Chaplin. No. This is false. If Elia Kazan and Ingmar Bergman are A directors, and Charles Herman-Wurmfeld (who?) is an F director, we'll say PTA is about a B-, maybe a B. Let's do a rundown of his flicks.

Boogie Nights -- A good movie. Innovative, centering around a porn culture, with some memorable characters and a couple interesting techniques. But for me, there is just something missing. Or maybe there is too much. The movie is 2 hours and 36 minutes. I think watching it, I would've rather had a more focused perspective. Here we have it, 'good not great.'

Magnolia -- Another good movie. Tom Cruise is fantastic here, as is the rest of the cast. Despite the feel of vignettes, the threads add up to a pleasing whole, whereas in Boogie Nights I was left wanting. The movie reaches, and reaches far, but the joys of Magnolia is its self-awareness, how a viewer would be shocked if there wasn't a deus ex machina.

Punch-Drunk Love -- Here it seems PTA is in unfamiliar territory, and I hate to say it shows. Now, it's peculiar comparing this, and There Will Be Blood. I get a lot of similar vibes, with the harsh undertones in the music that go on and on, for much longer than one is used to in a movie. Not even for whole scenes, but for chunks of scenes. It helps get the mood going (or, a sense of disorientation and chaos, whichever), but more than anything it simply irks me. It's things like this, tiny personal preference, which bumps a movie down from me (sidenote: I rate '2 Days in Paris' a 4/5 instead of 5/5 simply because of the car-keying scene, for example).

There Will Be Blood -- I'm going to be up front here. I do not like Westerns (exceptions include: The Searchers, Blazing Saddles, and Butch Cassidy). Sure, this isn't a 'Western,' but it is set in the West. There are good scenes and great moments in this movie. The finale will go down in movie history, I'm sure of it. However, there are flaws. What's the whole deal with the man posing as his brother? Yes, I 'get it.' No, I do not think it bettered the movie. Among other things.

Those are the 'quick hits' for the movies. I've probably posted about most of them elsewhere with more in-depth thoughts, but that is not the point here.

My point is this: I admire writer/directors more than directors. Naturally. And I admire that PTA is making movies, writing them himself, and doing well. And his movies are good. It's just interesting that he knows, somewhere down there, what I seem to think as well.

Maybe we're brothers, separated as birth.........

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Big Brother -- Finale

What an anti-climactic ending to Big Brother 9. It came down to a lesser of two evils, with Ryan and Adam in the final two. Adam deserved to be there, but Ryan was evicted and got a second chance. And as predicted the votes went 6-1 for Adam (though I thought Matt would go with Ryan). Though it was nice to see the Jury members grind out the last houseguests. And I think Adam's final words saved him, his whole wanting to start an autism center.

And it's so weird, why do I like Matt so much more now that he's in the Jury House? I need to remind myself how much of an asshole he was in the house. Also, still hate Natalie, still love Joshua and James and Chelsia.

Oh well, let's look forward to next season! July... something.

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Harold and Kumar

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay || IMDb

This Friday, Harold and Kumar have returned to the big screen. Unfortunately, where the first movie gave us original, comedic characters with an obsession with White Castle, this movie falls short. Instead of the characters being driven by themselves, by the craving, they are forced to be on the move. Plot controlling characters is always less interesting than the characters controlling themselves.

This time around our heroes get thrown into the Cuban prison Guantanamo Bay after Kumar can't resist smoking on an airplane and his bong is confused for a bomb. After some minor plot (can it even be called that?) developments, they escape and are on the run to Texas, where a dude marrying Kumar's ex-girlfriend can get their records cleared. The movie falls short because all this setup is is an excuse to put the protagonists in a series of uncomfortable instances that were almost all done better in the first movie.

The movie has two jokes. The first is the racism joke. This time we're not limited to a few lines against our Korean and Indian characters, but a majority of the scenes have stereotypes being exploited, and not in a humorous way. For example, a racist investigator (or, whatever he is, played awfully by Rob Corddry) attempts to torture a black witness by pouring a can of grape pop on the ground. But this isn't failure enough -- we see the joke of the black neighborhood being intelligent people (an orthodontist, for example) before the movie even hints at it. Why? Because those jokes have been done long before. And to count these scenes would be futile as they take up a majority of the film.

There are a few laughs, almost all of them coming from Neil Patrick Harris playing Neil Patrick Harris (NPH). He single-handedly steals the movie from Harold and Kumar. He's got more screen time than in the first movie, and it's all put to good use. So much that we are left thinking, I wish we followed NPH for the 102 minutes, instead.

If you've seen the original, there will be no curve balls this time around. If you haven't, watch the original instead and don't bother with this miserable sequel.

Rating: 3/7

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The Savages

Some of you may have heard of this movie, but all of you should see it. Now out on DVD, The Savages (IMDb) is a great movie, one that proves a few things -- Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney are two of the best working actors today, women are becoming more prominent in the movie industry as writer/directors (Sofia Coppola and Julie Delpy and Sarah Polley also come to mind), and that dramedy, or dark comedy, will always be one of the best genres.

The Savages delicately tells the story of brother and sister Jon and Wendy Savage (PSH and Laura Linney) as they deal with their father's dementia. The joys of this movie are scenes where, for example, Lenny Savage (the father, Philip Bosco) goes quiet in a bathroom, requiring a check-up from the house help. Due to countless lesser movies, one assumes he committed suicide. I won't ruin the surprise, but the alternative is both sad and hilarious.

In Arizona, where Lenny lives, his girlfriend of 20 years passes away, which means he is now in the care of his two children. They both live in New York, though Wendy is in New York City trying to make it as a drama writer, and Jon is in Buffalo teaching drama at the college level.

Both of our protagonists are intelligent, yet fail to grasp on to the essentials of traditional happy living. Raised by their irritable father and abandoned by their mother, Wendy is trapped in an affair with a married man, while Jon can't commit to marrying his girlfriend from Poland, even though that means her visa will expire and she has to leave the country. These characters have a good heart, but are simply unaware of how to use it. We see them attending meetings for dementia awareness, but they're more concerned with the refreshment table than getting a good seat.

Or, when in the nursing home, the embarrassment of Jon and Wendy as they screen The Jazz Singer for their father's enjoyment. Naturally, the scene where blackface is on screen is a bit awkward in front of the mostly black-staffed nursing home. Of course, Jon tries to explain how the movie needs to be taken in historical context with the time period, but Wendy is much more concerned about leaving the building, so much that they make for the stairs instead of the elevator.

The movie is a string of scenes like these, which seem a sad subject matter laced with bits of humor. Looking back, I honestly think this movie should have won the Original Screenplay Oscar over Juno. And I loved Juno. Laura Linney over Marion Cotillard? Maybe not. But this is a great movie and one that should be seen by all.

Rating: 7/7

Here is a decent trailer that almost does the movie justice:

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Blog News

So I'm thinking of this for a new title/subtitle. Let me know what you think.

Also, three gold stars if you recognize the quote.

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The Office -- Night Out

The Office is back to good form from a bit of a slump. Once again this proves Kelly is the best character. Why? She only had a few lines in this episode (hilarious, they were). Well, because she wrote this episode. Also, love The Temp.

So many good moments, but my favorite was probably Pam throwing the ball and hitting Meredith in the head. Or, when Creed actually knew the security guard's name. The latter only funny because he mentions him by first name a season or two earlier.

What a great show.

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In Theaters April 25

Is it summer yet? It sure feels like it -- though in Florida it starts to feel like summer mid-February. At least we're getting some big name movies in theaters April 25th.

Baby Mama || IMDb

I wanted to see this until I realized it wasn't written by Tina Fey, it just stars her. Mean Girls and 30 Rock, great. SNL, not too bad these days. Baby Mama... pass.

Rating: Rental

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay || IMDb

The first time I watched the original, I didn't like it. A month ago I bought the DVD. It grew on me (though some scenes still just make me cringe). Though this sequel is bound to be a bit inferior, same writers translates to a solid experience. That is, if you enjoyed the original.

Rating: Opening Weekend

Deception || IMDb

Interesting trailer, but bound to flop. Just take my word for it. Sometimes you just know.

Rating: Download

Jon's Pick of the Week: Harold and Kumar

DVD Release of the Week: The Savages

Side note: One Missed Call has a 0% on Rottentomatoes after 65 reviews. Hilarious.

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Top Chef -- Improv

What's the best part of every Wednesday? Well, it was Big Brother until the smart people were evicted and the morons made it to the end. Now, it's Top Chef.

The Quickfire Challenge this week was to make a dessert. How about that excessive product placement of the new Top Chef cookbook? Either way, all those desserts looked delicious. I'm sure even the 'bad' ones tasted good. I mean, no matter how you mix bananas, chocolate, and sugar, how could it taste bad? Richard wins immunity again -- yawn.

Thank God they didn't have the chefs go up on stage and do improv themselves at the comedy club. That is what the preview made it out to be. Improvising with food, that's okay. Chef doing improv comedy? Yikes. I really don't like Lisa for being like, "Well, even though they gave us Polish Sausage, I'm not doing it, we're doing something else." Grow up. You're in a competition with rules.

About Yellow Vanilla Love, "I would lick my bowl if we weren't, in front of camera." Oh, Padma. I think we need a 'greatest Padma hits' Youtube compilation. I can't be the only person who'd want that, am I? Someone more technology-savvy needs to get on that. That way I can watch the video to pass time until I marry the real thing.

I do like all the weird techniques Dale has, from his homeland or wherever. I also like that he cusses a lot and is kind of a jerk. Go, reality TV.

I'm kind of annoyed Dale and Richard won the elimination challenge -- granted their dish was good but they've both won before, so I wanted to see Spike win one. Also, since he made a soup, him winning with that and rubbing it in Antonia's face would've been amazing.

Chef Tom is awesome, when Antonia said, "Well from now on..." and Tom says, "If there is a from now on." Putting contestants back in their place is fantastic.

Also, I like how you can tell what will happen in reality TV by the editing. Mark and Nikki were barely in this episode, so I knew they would not be in the top or bottom, but the middle where they don't show up later.

I almost had a heart attack when Stephanie was in the bottom two. Well, maybe that is a hyperbole, but she's my favorite to win and her going home this early would ruin my predictions! I'm glad Jen went, also because that means I don't have to keep hearing, "I'm doing this for Zoi" twenty times per episode.

Well, we'll be back next week.

P.S. I hope next week we get both Ted and Gail. I don't like their absence.

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