Ch-check it out

You may have noticed a lack of updates recently (probably not). I'm focusing my efforts primarily on a new blog, The New Calamity, which is all movie goodness.

Ch-check it out!

The New Calamity

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'Senior Parking Only'

Today I went to the post office. In the front there was a spot for handicap parking, which makes complete sense and, I think, is required by law.

And then beside that spot was a spot for 'Senior Parking Only'. Sorry, but I think they should either make another handicap spot, or get rid of this tomfoolery. Honestly, if a senior has enough trouble walking that they need to park close, won't they have a handicap decal? If they don't qualify for one, they don't need the parking.

I understand that old people don't know how to use email to transport things, and are therefore the majority consumers of postal goods, but come on. This is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

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500 Days of Summer

Firstly, I think we all know that I love Zooey Deschanel. Let's just clear that up right now.

Secondly, we all know that I love a good rom-com. But this one looks to be a little better than the norm.

First cute trailer:



Second cute Zooey Deschanel talking about her character. Because why not:

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Back Into the Mix

What's the point of Twitter? I thought it was dumb, but then I gave it a try. Now it still seems dumb, but also pointless.

Author J. G. Ballard has died. He died this morning at the age of 78. I had to read his book 'Crash' for Modern British Literature in college. I read it the night before class all in one sitting. I actually enjoyed it, though the book was very weird. It's always sad when a notable author (or person) dies.

Will update more frequently. Hopefully, but this week is very busy. Busy at work, and I will also be sending out my short story for publication. I need to hurry up so I can get those rejection letters back ASAP!

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Favorite Words: Panicked / Panicking

Since I have numerous favorite words and can never remember them all, this will be a new feature. And by 'feature,' I mean a bunch of sporadic, short posts with good words.

The first word is 'panicked.' I choose this word because the letter 'k' clearly defies the logical rules most kids learn for changing the form of words. The word 'panic,' in itself, is hardly noteworthy. But because of the randomly inserted 'k,' panicked and panicking are great.

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Monsters vs. Aliens

Monsters vs. Aliens

How nice for my expectations to be surpassed for once. Especially with a non-Pixar animated film. Monsters vs. Aliens manages to tell a rather typical story in a creative and fun way, and isn't that what movies like this are all about? Many strive and few succeed. Here is a film that succeeds.

We begin with Susan, who is typically marrying the love of her life, who cares only about his career. Then she is hit by a meteor and grows to be about 50 feet tall. The setup is not important. There is subtle humor up to this point and many interesting details which lead to Susan being captured by the government, well, for forever.

My experience, for the first time in anything (not only in movies), was enhanced by the presence of kids. When the other monsters are introduced (a blob of blue jello, a genius cockroach, an extreme amphibian, and the most adorable giant insect ever), when they exhibited their unique abilities, the kids behind me, silent to that point, laughed hysterically. This helped me release my critical mind and go along for the ride. I suggest you do the same.

And Susan learns to accept her new, giant self. She knows she can't go back to her old life, and the world is saved because of the Monsters. We can all see that coming. But as the cliche goes, it's not in the result, but in the journey. And this is a fun journey.

IMAX and 3-D recommended.

Rating: 5/7

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Make Me A Supermodel: Jordan Fanclub

I'm getting tired of that post below this one. Aren't you? I was out of town, though. Plus I'm old and busy.

But this week's Make Me A Supermodel was lame again. Well, CJ going home was fine. She sucked (though, gorgeous). Kerryn was due for a win and I like her, and I like Jonathan, too. But a lack of Jordan makes me sad. As consolation, here are some pics of her cuteness.



I promise the next post won't be about reality TV or Jordan!

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Which Gaffe(s) Is(Are) Worse?

Which of these gaffes by Mr. President is worse. First is the most recent from Obama, where he makes fun of his own bowling score, saying his 129 was "like the Special Olympics, or something."



Honestly I don't find that very offensive. People are just way too touchy about way too many subject.

Next, here are 5 epic Bush gaffes (there are way too many to find a video on just one, and way too many to take up only one video. But here is just one).



Wow, Bush has to have been the worst public speaker ever. Honestly.

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Make Me A Supermodel

So, new season of Make Me A Supermodel.

I love Jordan. Call me?

http://www.bravotv.com/make-me-a-supermodel/jordan -> Her pictures are all so awful, which makes her so much cuter. And by 'awful' I mean 'normal and homey.' Also, from her bio: "Her favorite activities include drawing, video games, and attending baseball games." Best reality contestant ever?

Call me. For serious.

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Two Overdue Movies

I finally got around to watching two movies I've been putting off: Reno 911: Miami, and National Treasure (the first one [I know]).

I'm a big fan of the Reno 911! show. I was all over that goodness in the first season, and some of my friends said it was crap (then later they 'told me about it,' and deny the prior history), but came to realize its greatness. The movie, while amusing, lacked the punch of the TV show. I think it was because the film had to be dragged out to actual film length. The runtime from start to credits is about 73 minutes, plus some bloopers and whatnot. If they trimmed it down to 40 minutes it would have been perfect, but what can you do? One good thing did come from this film, though: boobies. It never hurts to have a former Playboy centerfold walking around topless for a 5 minute scene. More filmmakers should take that tip.

National Treasure... where to get started. Completely ridiculous and preposterous from start to finish. A few scenes are entertaining, but the overall implausibility just shatters any chance this movie had at decency. Plus the heroes use Google (and the villains use Yahoo!) for guidance on their frolicking. Terrible.

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Hiatus

Apologies on the blogging front. I've been trying to perfect this short story, this piece of 'real writing.' Regular posting will resume shortly.

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Top Twelve Reasons Watchmen Fails at Adaptation

I previously made a post ranting about how disappointed I was in the Watchmen film. Here I am going to justify that opinion. A few things to keep in mind: These are based off of the theatrical release, not any 'director's cut' that may follow. Also, there will be very heavy spoilers and I suggest not reading if you haven't at least seen the movie, but ideally you will have read the graphic novel and seen the film.

Top 12, as in 12 chapters of the graphic novel, after the cut.

12. Removal of Nite Owl's Hoverscooters

After Archie crashes in Antarctica, originally in the comic Nite Owl gets out two Hoverscooters to make it the rest of the distance to Veidt's fort. This was funny, especially because the scooters were also owl-themed. In the film, however, they land close and just walk. Very lame.

11. Veidt Poisoning His Assistants with their Toast

In the original graphic novel, Veidt gets rids of his assistants by, while they are in effectively a greenhouse, he opens it and mountains of snow pour in, killing them. This is a hundred times cooler than the cliche of putting poison in the champagne and Veidt himself simply not drinking it.

10. Removal of Dr. Manhattan Saying He Knows He Kills Someone, But Doesn't Know Who

The clouding of Dr. Manhattan's vision is in both versions, but in the graphic novel Manhattan tells Laurie that he knows he kills someone, but not who. This is fantastic because we assume he will kill Veidt, the "bad guy," and it is completely shocking when he actually kills Rorschach, who, oddly, Manhattan sees as the "bad guy" then. This curve ball being removed, again for no reason, is disappointing.

9. No Explanation of Rorschach's Mask

The mask Rorschach wears is a custom one from the remnants of a dress a girl left at a place he worked. She thought it was ugly, but he thought it was beautiful the way the black and white never merged into gray (which, obviously, mirrors his theory on right and wrong--no gray area). This also deeply affects Rorschach because the girl who left the dress is murdered in front of a whole group of people and none of them do anything. Add in the fact that Rorschach's history is merely glanced over, and I sense lots of failure.

8. In the Beginning, It Is Obviously Veidt

The scene with the Comedian being killed in the beginning was drawn out, but I could deal with that. What I could not deal with is the fact that part of the killer's face is revealed, and also his build is clearly Veidt's. Add that to the fact that the marketing for the film clearly points out how Veidt is willing to make sacrifices, and we have any surprise ruined.

7. Nite Owl Attacking Veidt After Rorschach's Death

Really? This is so dumb I can't even explain it. Nite Owl accepted Veidt's plan as making sense, as did everyone except Rorschach. Originally, Nite Owl and Silk Spectre II go get it on after they find out Veidt's plan. Nite Owl seeing Rorschach killed and going back and beating up Veidt was just corny and Hollywood and bad.

6. Veidt Is a Wimp

Transitioning from my last point, in the graphic novel not only is Veidt super smart, but he is amazingly well-built. He is always working out, either on the TV specials or during interviews (one interviewer says he never had a girlfriend who didn't want to bang the guy). Yet in the film, while Veidt beats plenty of people up, it seems fairly obvious he is scrawny. Huge casting error.

5. Nite Owl Warning Veidt Instead of Rorschach

In the graphic novel Rorschach is the one who goes around and warns everyone about a 'mask killer.' I may be remembering this incorrectly, but Rorschach doesn't warn Veidt at all, does he? Nite Owl does. This makes no sense. Especially because later Veidt stages his own attack (which was horribly done in the film, with all the extra political people for no reason) to further Rorschach's theory and throw him off the real motive. Shame.

4. Laurie Has the Last Name 'Jupiter'

This small detail really bugs me. In the graphic novel Laurie specifically used the last name Juspeczyk because she strongly disliked her mom and being associated with her publicity as the risque original Silk Spectre. This furthered the mother/daughter arc, and it being removed says a lot (by not saying it).

3. Almost No New Frontiersman or Newsstand

Sure, there are newspapers all around, but the New Frontiersman doesn't show up until Rorschach drops off his journal at the end and we miss the whole dynamic of the media at the time. Also, the newsstand is such a huge part of the story because almost all of the characters go there at some point, and their small interactions are very interesting. Plus this is a transition to the Tales of the Black Freighter, which is going to be a cheap marketing ploy on straight-to-DVD. Fail.

2. Not Enough Hollis Mason

Hollis Mason, as I've said, is almost like a moral center to Watchmen. He was in the original Minutemen, was a guide for Dan, familiarized the world with the Minutemen through his book (which in itself is very interesting and perfect, I would buy just that as a standalone), paved the way for Veidt's success in marketing, and his mugging on Halloween, where the kids come to visit him and find his body, is one of the saddest points in the graphic novel. Yet in the film, he has two terribly brief scenes and then just disappears. It doesn't even show him dying when the city explodes. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

1. No Alien Explosion / Substitution of Framing Dr. Manhattan

Dear God, why? I don't know what to address first--how great the original idea of the alien was, or how stupid framing Dr. Manhattan was. Originally, Veidt's plan was to captures a large amount of scientists and artists (which the fact that they are missing is a mystery build through the whole book, and in itself is interesting, and also ties in with The Black Freighter), and on an island they designed a super huge alien. The Comedian found this alien, and that's why Veidt killed him, so he wouldn't talk (this is vaguely skimmed over in the film). Also, Veidt has the boat with all these artists and scientists explode, which is the along the lines of what he did with his assistants when he flooded them in the snow. Then he teleports the alien to the city, which explodes, and there is mass carnage and remnants of it everywhere. Very creepy. And under the idea that the aliens are attacking, the world unites.

In the film, there is just an explosion, where we don't see the carnage. We don't get missing artists or scientists, and now Dr. Manhattan is framed. Seriously, I think this was just a way to get Dr. Manhattan more visible. This change hurts the movie in so many ways. They might as well have had Rorschach live and Dr. Manhattan stop the explosion and everything in the original comic thrown away.

................

And there are more things. Many more. But these are the worst changes. There were some good things in the film, I will admit, but I will post about those later. I guarantee, though, that that list won't have 12 items on it. Maybe three.

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Watchmen

I will admit that my expectations for Watchmen were high (for reasons unknown, because Zack Snyder is a hack). However, I have never been so disappointed in an adaptation in my life.

Everything added into the film that was not in the source comics was either awkward, completely out of character, or just useless. Whereas there were literally hundreds of little details that were absent which made the film hokey. Some were small details that make a huge difference and could have easily been put in (for example, in the comic, Laurie reverts to the last name Juspeczyk to distance herself from her mother and her image. That is a minor detail that says A LOT. Yet in the movie they were lazy and had them both with the last name Jupiter.). Details like those are great and the fact that they were removed bugs me.

But even bigger than those, what makes Watchmen so fantastic is that there are a hundred characters and all of them are important to everything in a way, and all of these hundreds of threads come together so perfectly. The film gets rid of the dozens of interesting minor characters, and the ones they keep get their lines trimmed. Hell, even the main characters get shafted on their character development. Dr. Manhattan gets boosted to the front because of the CGI used to make him, the Silk Spectre/Silk Spectre II dynamic is pushed aside, the original Minutemen are all but forgotten, Nite Owl's struggle is not shown but told in boringly blatant terms, and Rorschach, the most attractive and morally immobile character in the story, has his interesting backstory cropped and his later scenes butchered.

And don't even get me started on the changed ending.

One of my favorite characters in the comics was Hollis Mason, the original Nite Owl. In the film he gets almost no screen time and his part isn't significant at all. This really upsets me because not only is he the one real, logical, reliable guy from the Minutemen, but he also published the book Under the Hood, which is the source of all the history, and his take on it is so unique. Another opportunity wasted.

The writers of the script squandered so much great material and now I can understand why Alan Moore wanted nothing to do with the film, and refuses to see it.

This rant is already longer than I intended. I will write in more detail as more people see the film. But honestly, if you have not read the original graphic novel, you must. It is so, so superior to this film in every way. Do yourself a favor. Trust me on this one.

Rating: 4/7

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Make Me a Supermodel

The new season of Bravo's show Make Me A Supermodel premiered tonight.

Last season had one of the cutest winners ever, and I got sucked in to the show before the finale. I guess now I'll watch the whole thing.

Immediate favorite was Jordan. She's cute and seems kind of nerdy, so she was an instant favorite. And then she won the first challenge and has immunity next week, so there we go! Also, I like Colin, because he's also kind of nerdy and the underdog.

Tyson Beckford is the worst host ever, BTW. The new girl Nicole or whatever is all right. It's odd though how Tyson isn't a judge, but also how the judges decide, instead of America calling in to vote like last season. It seems better this way, though.

Here's to a new season of reality tv!

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Updating the Top 50

With another year over, I have a new slew of films to ponder. Then again, aren't we always pondering good films? Either way, I've read over my previous Top 50 and it needs some serious updates. This year I don't think I'll do as elaborate a countdown. We'll see. Anyway, here's the old Top 50.

1. American Beauty
2. All About Eve
3. It's a Wonderful Life
4. Annie Hall
5. The Godfather
6. Some Like It Hot
7. The Princess Bride
8. Mulholland Dr.
9. Amelie
10. The Shawshank Redemption
11. Sunset Blvd.
12. Match Point
13. A Streetcar Named Desire
14. Casablanca
15. A Shot in the Dark
16. Spirited Away
17. Dr. Strangelove
18. The Departed
19. Lilo & Stitch
20. Zodiac
21. Psycho
22. Clue
23. Finding Nemo
24. Breakfast at Tiffany's
25. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
26. The Shining
27. Gone With the Wind
28. Chinatown
29. Love Actually
30. City Lights
31. Fargo
32. Traffic
33. The Producers
34. Bridget Jones's Diary
35. Chocolat
36. The Godfather: Part II
37. Mean Girls
38. The Apartment
39. Pulp Fiction
40. Halloween
41. Blazing Saddles
42. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
43. Bonnie and Clyde
44. Shakespeare in Love
45. Army of Darkness
46. This Is Spinal Tap
47. Jerry Maguire
48. Sabrina
49. Schindler's List
50. As Good As It Gets

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Noah Baumbach: Almost Always Almost There

When certain writers develop a trend it can either be a good or bad thing. Either way, it makes them appear as though they have a 'type.' Noah Baumbach, whose film credits include The Squid and the Whale, Margot at the Wedding, Kicking and Screaming (1995, not the terrible Will Ferrell one), and The Life Aquatic (as writer), seems to be one of those 'type' writers. His type? It seems to be self-destructive characters.

Self-destructive characters, for me, are some of the most interesting to watch. The characters make choices that I (almost) never would, yet I understand why they do, and know that for them, it's not a choice at all.

Three of his films will be used as examples. Though, all of them are great, but two of them have small idiosyncrasies that keep them from rising above just a 'movie.'

The Squid and the Whale is about a lot of things, but the core of the story is that a high school kid named Walt is dealing with his parents' divorce and the conflicting pressure they both put on him to read more, recite their opinions, and do what they want. Walt leans more towards hid dad's view, which is pessimistic, and Walt's younger brother Frank leans towards his mom's view, which seems optimistic. Now, watching the film, how do we judge which child is clinging to the right side? That is one great thing the film does, but also, look which side Walt, the protagonist, goes towards. Walt may have had a window to take the 'path of least resistance,' but with divorce and controlling parents it's hard to not pick a side. He chooses the negative, self-destructive side.

Margot at the Wedding is Noah Baumbach's best film to date. I admit, I haven't seen it in a while. I have been meaning to buy the DVD, but keep putting it off; so forgive my skimming on this movie. This film shows Margot going to her sister's wedding and how Margot, played perfectly by Nicole Kidman, gives us every negative emotion in the book. She just can't let things be, and has to have trouble in her life.

Kicking and Screaming, from 1995, is about a group of self-destructive characters who, at some point, realize they do need to get a grip on life. The film is about four friends who have just finished college and are in that state of limbo between hanging around campus all day and finding a career. This film is a comedy, but do not doubt the seriousness of how these characters throw away any instance of taking chances with their lives and resort to hitting on college freshman, even though they are 22. I guess one can't judge if that's something that happens on the side, but the characters in this movie substitute that for their future. It's eerie.

Yet all of these films barely miss the mark for me. The Squid and the Whale, while accurate and intelligent, seems to lack soul. Margot has soul, and is the best of the bunch, but I can't place what's off about it. I need to see it again. Kicking and Screaming, while very funny, does not resolve. Now, I do not need a resolution to be on screen--God, no. That would be insane. But I need a hint.

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MILK Acceptance Speeches

YouTube will take this video down soon, but if you missed it last night, here is Sean Penn's acceptance speech.



I'm posting this, as opposed to some other great speeches, because some people have been saying "Why even bring up the gay issues?" Well, it's not like Andrew Stanton won for WALL-E and is preaching about equal rights. Sean Penn and Dustin Lance Black won for a film about equal rights, so it would almost seem inappropriate if they didn't mention them. There is clearly support for the winners, the film, and Harvey Milk himself, and there's nothing wrong with them acknowledging the message of their film.

I bring this up because Sean Penn said something so great in his speech (shocking as that may be):

"...for those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight; and I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way of support. We've got to have equal rights for everyone."

Poor grammar on Penn's account aside, that is a great point. And it's true. We do have to have equal rights for everyone.

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Oscar Recap

Clocking in at just under three and a half hours, from Hugh Jackman's opening monologue to the Best Picture award, the Oscars failed to surprise. But is that a bad thing? Most certainly not. Except for some tiniest of tiny upsets, the winners were as they should have been. How was the actual show, itself? Let's just say that Jackman was an entertaining host, and Hollywood clearly cares more about their actors than anyone else.

Grabbing numerous prizes was the favored Slumdog Millionaire, which was, quite simply, the best film out of the nominees. It took home 8 awards, including Best Picture, Best Director (Danny Boyle), Adapted Screenplay (Simon Beaufoy), Score, Song, Editing, Sound Mixing, and Cinematography. The love was not shared this year, with Slumdog possessing what seemed like a monopoly on all categories, ranging from the 'Big Eight' to the 'Techies.'

Deservedly, Sean Penn won Best Actor for his portrayal of Harvey Milk in MILK (which also won Original Screenplay). Kate Winslet took home her first Oscar--finally--for her performance in The Reader. The Reader, while an interesting movie, was not worthy of its Best Picture nomination. Kate Winslet winning was not unexpected and is nothing to dismiss, but she should have been nominated for Revolutionary Road, which was a superior film in every aspect.

Michael Shannon was nominated for a supporting role in Revolutionary Road, but the winner was Heath Ledger for his Joker. I think it's a safe assumption that he got no less than 90% of the votes--but we will never know for sure. Some may have been sympathy votes because he has passed, but his performance was the best of the bunch. His Oscar will be kept by Michelle Williams, his ex-fiance, until his daughter is 18. At that time, it will go to her. The Dark Knight ended up taking home two Oscars: Ledger's, and Sound Editing.

Penelope Cruz gained an Oscar for her role in 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona,' which received only a sliver of love from the Academy (not even a Screenplay nod for Woody Allen). Yet, the Academy never fails to embrace beautiful, exotic women. Cruz had this one in the bag from day one.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, lackluster as it was, still managed three Oscars in tech categories. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both went home empty-handed, but I'm sure Brad Pitt's time will come soon. If not, as long as he lives until his 80s, he'll at least get an honorary Oscar.

WALL-E, while nominated for six Oscars and one of the year's best, was stuck with a win in only the Best Animated Feature category. It seems like Pixar can't get a break outside of that mold, no matter how good their films are.

As for myself, I got 21 out of 24 predictions correct, missing only Animated Short, Documentary Short, and Foreign Language film. We can all learn something from this: I should plug my predictions into contests instead of just posting them on my blog, and you should copy my predictions next year.

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Quick Oscar Recap

So I got 21/24 predictions right for the Oscars, which is 87.5%, which is amazing. Most people average about 14-16.

The only ones I missed were Animated Short, Documentary Short, and Foreign Film. Mostly because I hadn't seen any of them (except Presto), and Foreign Language film is always lame and goes with something out of the blue.

Hugh Jackman was a good host.

I wish I posted my predictions in some contests. I probably would have won some stuff. I think the one I did, it was an old prediction chart and it changed since then. Damnit.

Hopefully next year I do this well! If you're bored, check out my live blog below this, or the pre-show blabber below that. With sexy pics.

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Oscar Live-blog (Sort Of)

When the shows starts, during commercials, I may or may not come back to edit. Does anyone actually read live blogs after-the-fact? Note: All times will be according to EST.

8:30 Aaaaaaaand, we're off!

8:35 Hugh Jackman's writers are pretty solid this year.

8:38 Opening dance number with all of the nominees: Pretty funny, too. Especially since it makes fun of no one seeing The Reader.

8:42 Love Meryl Streep, and also, not a bad montage of acceptance speeches.

8:48 I liked these intros at first, and they're interesting, but taking WAY too long (Sup. Actress).

8:49 YAY, Penelope Cruz! Great win, and I'm 1/1.

8:51 Great speech. No one is going to top Penelope. Love her. Especially since she thanked Woody Allen.

8:55 Tina Fey presenting the writing Oscar? Hot.

8:59 Dustin Lance Black for MILK, as expected. Good script, not better than WALL-E or In Bruges, though. Oh well, 2/2.

9:00 Good speech, Dustin. Why are they jumping to Adapted Screenplay already? To cut down runtime? Sure, why not.

9:03 The Slumdog clip gives me chills. Love it. Also, Simon Beaufoy, of course wins. Amazing screenplay. 3/3.

9:04 Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black? I'm going to hate whatever this is. Both of them suck. Looks like Animated Feature, though. Looooooooooove WALL-E.

9:09 Yay WALL-E! Though, Jen Aniston's attempt to say it like the character was just AWFUL. 4/4. Andrew Stanton owns.

9:11 Ugh, they're back. Animated Short: wtf is this movie that won. I'm not going to judge cause I didn't see it, but better than Presto? Doubt it. 4/5.

9:19 Art Direction. Uh oh, I'm nervous. Honestly, any of these could win.... 5 great nominees................ but Benjamin Button wins. Which means I win, at 5/6. Solid.

9:21 Stop stuttering, Daniel Craig. This must be costumes. Another strong category. The Duchess wins. God, I'm good. 6/7.

9:25 God, still on Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker? Shit. Well, now it's makeup. Again, a strong category. The Dark Knight should not win though. Which is true, because Benjamin Button won. I'm on fire! 7/8.

9:27 This kid who played Edward in Twilight looks like he's on drugs. Does he have ADD or what?

9:30 Best romance of 2008: Obviously WALL-E and EVE. I really want to watch Revolutionary Road again.

9:35 Ben Stiller is not funny. At all. Please, Natalie Portman, save us. Cinematography. Slumdog Millionaire wins! Yay! 8/9. And not just 'Yay' cause I'm dominating, but because the film totally deserved it.

9:40 GOD DAMN, Jessica Biel is hot.

9:45 James Franco in this comedy tribute, infinitely funnier than Seth Rogen.

9:48 Live Action Short... Janusz Kaminski, pretty hilarious. Uh, I predicted Toyland, but... Oh, ok, just kidding, that one did win. I rule? Yes, I rule. 9/10.

9:54 What is this musical? Good concept but it is failing pretty terribly. Hugh Jackman should quit singing, IMO.

10:05 Great Supporting Actor clip. Love it. Some really great winners over the years.

10:05 I'm already feeling the sadness that Heath Ledger isn't alive to see this.

10:09 Heath Ledger wins, naturally. 10/11. I don't think this was a sentimental win, in the sense of sympathy votes. It was honestly the best in the category.

10:14 Looks like Documentary categories coming up. Uh oh. I wish I had seen more of the nominees, honestly.

10:17 Bill Maher, not a great presenter. Plugging his own film. Sad. Oh well, Man on Wire won. Not shocking. 11/12.

10:19 Short films ruining my life. Let's see.... God damnit, missed this one, too. Why do these shorts always get me? 11/13.

10:27 Love Will Smith. Terrible jokes but he still delivers. Charisma. Yes.

10:29 Visual effects. Benjamin Button has this in the bag. Or it should. If not, something is F-ed..... Yeah, Benjamin Button won. 12/14. Good pick, AMPAS.

10:30 The sound awards are coming up, and I'm gonna falter here. Watch. I'm trying to beat the crowd on these.

10:32 OMG I love WALL-E. But I predicted The Dark Knight.... And The Dark Knight wins. 13/15. I rock?

10:33 Sound mixing, I have Slumdog. Another tough one. These are hard to judge. JUST KIDDING. I'm not sharing my formula on this one. I'm awesome. This is also an AMAZING win for such a great film, and it looks like Slumdog is unstoppable. 14/16.

10:36 Editing. What a great category. I think if I was in film and not a screenwriter, I'd like to be an editor. Slumdog Millionaire again, not surprisingly. Again, so deserved. 15/17. How many awards is Will Smith going to present?

10:38 I love how excited Danny Boyle looks for all of his crew winning. It's great.

10:43 Humanitarian award? Cool. Wake me up when it's over. Best part of this is the WALL-E score in the background. 'Define Dancing' is the best melody from WALL-E. Am I a nerd? Or a fanboy?

10:52 I love a good score for a movie. Shame all of these can't win. I wonder what they will play from Slumdog. Hopefully not O...Saya or Jai Ho (though they are both great). Hopefully Mausam & Escape, or Aaj Ki Raat. Yay, Define Dancing from WALL-E! Ok, Dreams on Fire from Slumdog. Not bad. Though it was only about 15 seconds. If that.

10:55 I love Alicia Keys. She should present every award. Mainly because she's great to look at.

10:56 YES! Slumdog Millionaire wins score! Fantastic. 16/18.

10:58 Original score. All three of these were fantastic. Who knows. YES! Performance! Please do Jai Ho dance!

10:59 Down to Earth is a great song. I'm sort of anticipating a win for it. Maybe an upset? Looks odd with the Hindi extras, though.

11:01 Jai Ho, not near as impressive without Dev Patel and Freida Pinto dancing. I'll go back to the CD. This mix of the songs is terrible, IMO.

11:03 Jai Ho! Winner! Love Slumdog Millionaire. 17/19.

11:07 Freida Pinto presenting! This show just got a lot better.

11:09 Foreign Language always has a surprise. I'm pretty sure I;ll be wrong. Yup. See, wtf? No one was predicting that, everyone was saying Waltz with Bashir, or The Class. Owned? Yes, I got owned. 17/20. Damnit Freida.

11:12 I hate Queen Latifah. GTFO. I'm all about remembering people, but GTFO of the stage. Oh God, she's singing now? Seriously?

11:20 Hate Reese Witherspoon. Learn to count. There are four awards left, and three people. Not one.

11:22 David Fincher looks pissed and bored. Probably because Danny Boyle cleans up this category easily. Well deserved. Love it. 18/21.

11:24 Great speech, Danny Boyle.

11:27 Wow, the 5 women presenting Best Actress are all amazing. Great ensemble. Is Shirley Maclaine wearing pants? Wow, Marion Cotillard is hot.

11:30 Kate Winslet, nominated for the wrong movie. Oh well. Sup, Halle Berry.

11:32 You know, if we cut out acting awards and all the praise for them, the show would be half as long. Again, entertaining, but let's just get to the award.

11:33 Kate Winslet proves if you get naked and play in a Holocaust film, you win. Not that she didn't deserve it. I love her. 19/22.

11:37 Kate Winslet is cute.

11:38 Best Actor: Infinitely more interesting. This clip is amazing. I'm going to miss this category.

11:39 Adrian Brody needs a haircut. No Daniel Day-Lewis?

11:45 YES! SEAN PENN! Thank God. Great victory. For me and Penn, obviously. 20/23. God, I'm so glad he won. So, so deserved.

11:48 Great speech Sean Penn. I guess it helps when you're not wasted (like last time).

11:50 Love these tributes. But how bad was Frost/Nixon?

11:51 Slumdog Millionaire: Best film of the year. The Reader--overrated.

11:54 Slumdog Millionaire Best Picture! Amazing. 21/24. I rule.

Great show. I'll update in a bit with more thoughts.

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Some Pre-Oscar Blabber

First off, I know these won't happen, but they would be pretty sweet upsets:

Meryl Streep, or Anne Hathaway, for Lead Actress.
Amy Adams, or Marisa Tomei, for Supporting Actress (would make me happy).
Martin McDonagh for Original Screenplay (In Bruges). Or, WALL-E.
WALL-E for Score.

With that said, Yahoo! has started posting arrival photos, and here are some good ones.



Freida Pinto is the winner, for sure.

Tim Gunn is hosting the Red Carpet? Amazing!



Josh Brolin and Diane Lane, who is the hottest 45 year-old woman on the planet.



Meryl Streep, always the best. Out of focus: her hot daughter. She's to the left in the background. I'll try to find a better picture.



If Freida Pinto is the winner, Penelope Cruz is runner-up. Gorgeous.



Penelope Cruz and Marion Cotillard. "Which one do you want?" "Well, I've always had a thing for French girls...." "Good, cause I'll take anything."

I'll update more later.

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Bump: Oscar Predictions

The Oscars are tomorrow, and as such, I'm re-posting my predictions. The full list is here, with some explanations. This year I'm playing it fairly safe. Next year I may play a bit riskier, but I think this will be a Year of the General Consensus.

Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Director: Danny Boyle
Actor: Sean Penn
Actress: Kate Winslet
Sup. Actor: Heath Ledger
Sup. Actress: Penelope Cruz
Original Screenplay: Milk
Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire
Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Art Direction: Benjamin Button
Original Score: A.R. Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire
Original Song: Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire
Animated Feature: WALL-E
Foreign Language Film: Waltz with Bashir
Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire
Costumes: The Duchess
Doc. Feature: Man on Wire
Visual Effects: Benjamin Button
Makeup: Benjamin Button
Live Short: Spielzeugland
Doc. Short: The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306
Animated Short: Presto

Last year I got 15 out of 24, which is embarrassing. This year I'll be surprised if I hit less than 18. Very surprised. We'll see!

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I <3 Freida Pinto

A sweet video on youtube of Dev Patel and Freida Pinto on Tyra showing her one of their dance moves from the closing credits of Slumdog Millionaire.



Could she be any better? 'She' means 'Freida,' obviously. Tyra has long since jumped the couch. And the answer is: no.

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FURIOUS!

Tonight's episode of Top Chef has to have been the WORST episode of reality TV EVER. I've never been more mad at a TV show....

First off, they had the quickfire for one of the last 3 eliminated chefs to come back, which was amazing, because I really liked Jeff. And he won! Awesome! He got a chance to compete in the elimination challenge, but he had to win it to move on.

So we had the elimination challenge, and fucking Carla won? I hate Carla, so much. She's so weird and ugly and boring and hippy-ish. And not a good weird, like Andrew from last season, but just a creepy weird. Now, she had two fantastic dishes, but they were required to make a cocktail. She mad a spritzer with no alcohol. It was just a mix of two drinks that can be bought for a dollar at Wal Mart. Cranberry was one, I think. My six year-old niece can make (and drink) that. Big fuckin' deal. Jeff made, unanimously, the best cocktail of the night. The judges even said so. It was delicious and innovative (cucumber flavored cocktail? A+). PLUS he had two great dishes. And he got SECOND?! I'm sorry, but that is bullshit. So, he had to go home, so I had to watch him get kicked off twice.

And then Fabio got sent home. Fabio is possibly the greatest reality TV contestant of all time. His Italian accent is hilarious, and the way he jumbles common American phrases is so great. Plus he's a great chef, and one of the remaining few who isn't a douche bag. Well, not anymore. Instead, Stefan, who is just a prick and has sucked horribly the last few challenges, gets to stay.

The only good part of the episode was Gail returning, but she sent my two peeps home, so maybe the new judge Toby needs to come back. Fuck. I hate all of the final 3.

Top Chef ruining my life.

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Recipe of the Day: Chinese Chicken

I enjoy cooking, but HATE cleaning up, so that's why I rarely do. What's awesome, though, is I downloaded an Ap on my iPhone that has recipes, so I can just shake my phone at the store to get a random recipe and I can get the ingredients right then.

Tonight I made some Chinese Chicken Fried Rice. View the original recipe here.

Here are the original ingredients:

* 1 egg
* 1 tablespoon water
* 1 tablespoon butter
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
* 1 onion, chopped
* 2 cups cooked white rice, cold
* 2 tablespoons soy sauce
* 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 cup cooked, chopped chicken meat

The directions on the site are good, but they are kind of haphazard. Here is how to prep and cook in order. I'm pretty slow at this stuff and it took me about 30 minutes from pot to plate.

Step One: Cook the white rice. Pretty simple--follow the directions on the box, and then put it in a container and throw it into the freezer.

Step Two: Cut up the chicken. I'm very picky with 'edges' and fat, and usually go through much more chicken than the average person for a perfect bite. Also, I would use a bit more chicken than the recipe says, but it's up to you. Once it's cut up, throw it in the skillet.

Step Three: While chicken is cooking, cut up the onion. I used a sweet onion, which I think turned out better. I also only used about 2/3 the onion, and it was plenty. Don't forget to keep the chicken cooking evenly on both sides.

Step Four: Take of the chicken, set it on the side (does not need to be completely cooked, just no longer raw). Next, beat the egg and mix it with the water. I found one egg was not enough for me, and I love eggs. I'd go for two next time (so twice as much water, too), but again, up to you.

Step Five: Melt the butter in the skillet, throw the egg in it, and let it cook for 1-2 minutes. Take it off, cut it a couple times, and leave it.

Step Six: Vegetable oil in the skillet, cook the onions for a second.

Step Seven: Take the rice out of the freezer, dump it on the onions. Mix in the soy sauce, and then the pepper (measure it out--if you just guess and it's too much it will ruin it), and then toss in the chicken. Mix it up every minute for 5 minutes.

What's nice about this is there's time to get some of the dishes cleaned up so it's not such an arduous task later. I got most of my stuff clean during those 5 minutes.

Step Eight: At the end of 5 minutes, throw the eggs in, give it a good mix, and I gave it another 30 seconds or so, just to heat the eggs up.

This is fairly easy, and if you follow the steps above, it could feed two very hungry adults, so if you only cook for one (like me, usually), it will be great leftovers (then again, what isn't?).

Again, recipe freely adapted from AllRecipes, so don't read this and think I'm some amazing cook.

This may be a regular feature in the future: We'll see!

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No Thanks I'm Good

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No Thanks, I'm Good

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I'm So Funny

I'm so funny. And the best part is that I explain my jokes so lesser mortals get them. Not Ryan, though. I'm sure he would have gotten it. But I can't risk that, can I?

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The Godfather: Part II is NOT better than The Godfather

It really, really bugs me when this conversation comes up (which it does surprisingly often):

John: Sequels are rarely, if ever, better than the original.
Jane: What about The Godfather?
John: No.

The only sequels that I would say are better than the original are: Terminator 2, Army of Darkness (or, Evil Dead 2), Star Wars ep. V, A Shot in the Dark (sort of a sequel to The Pink Panther), The Bourne Ultimatum, Spider-man 2, X2, a couple of the Harry Potters, and the third Lord of the Rings.

Intentionally not on that list: The Dark Knight, and hundreds of other movies

I have yet to find a convincing argument for Part II's superiority. The interweaving of Vito's coming to America and his rise is well put together, well acted, and well scripted. The 'modern' story with Michael is just as good. The problem is that when the story goes from one period of time to the other, not only do the jumps completely take us out of the story we're in, we are cut off and forced to wait for something that would have benefited from happening right then.

Now, this is not uncommon in films, and can work, but here is my issue: The two halves do not relate to each other. Vito's rise in power relates to The Godfather, and would almost have worked better being spliced into that film (please do not, it would ruin it--I'm just saying it would be better). What we see Vito doing in the past, as I said, is captivating, but ultimately unnecessary to what is going on in the present. When I first watched the film, I enjoyed De Niro's performance immensely. Now, it's a great performance, but 90% of the backtracking bores me. The present story, with Michael, Fredo, and Kay, is superb and superior. I would have rather had just that as one film. These two halves do not add up to a complete whole. They could, but the tape that would hold them together is absent.

This is all in contrast to the perfection of the first film, which I could watch over and over into infinity and never tire of. It's easy to jump around in time to tell a story, and while many great stories have been written that way, now it is almost gimmicky. To write something so strong and have it be in chronological order takes mountains of talent. There is such a strong connection to each and every character in the first film: When the Don is shot, it almost feels like an attack on our own family. When Michael lies to Kay at the end of the film, we feel just as conflicted as her. We know Michael is lying, but we know why, and we wonder: Would we have lied as well?

This is the short version of why The Godfather is a 10/10, whereas Part II is about a 9.5, maybe even a 9. I can't take anyone who considers the sequel better seriously.

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Test Mobile Post

Testing a mobile update. Oh, this is part of the drink menu from Blue
Point. The Shady Lady is not as good as the drink name.

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Atheism and the Catch-22

As most of us who browse the internet regularly know, there are millions of debates about the existence of God, the universe, etc. Well, in one of these debates, I saw someone posted that not only is it unlikely an atheist would get elected (that much is common sense--people hold religion too close to them to completely disregard it), but in some states it is actually illegal to be in office and deny the existence of God.

But wait! The First Amendment! I have my right to any religion I choose! Yes, that is true. You can choose whatever religion you want, as long as you don't actually talk about it... if it's an unfavorable one, that is. If you love God, you can praise him day in and day out, but according to North Carolina's State Constitution, Article 6, Section 8, "The following persons shall be disqualified for office: First, any person who shall deny the being of Almighty God." Wait, what?

Now, in the original constitution, Article VI, we have: "The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States." So right here, it says that we won't make you declare your religion if you don't want to. That makes sense.

But then if you do, and that includes something that denies the existence of "God" (or a "Supreme Being"), you get the boot. Please tell me how that is not discrimination.

I almost want an atheist to get into office, declare his atheism, and get kicked out in order to cause a huge uproar. That seems like the only way to get something done, honestly.

Other states include: Arkansas, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

Note: There is a handy page over at Atheist of Silicon Valley with more links and whatnot. They made the research easy for me, so go give them a page view or two as repayment.

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Movies to Study: Psycho

There are many reasons why Hitchcock's 'Psycho' is one of the best films ever, but I think one of the real treasures of the film is the performance by Anthony Perkins. He has a very boyish quality that plays perfectly with the relation to his mother, and we have no trouble believing that his best friend is his mother. But what makes a role great is that when watched repeatedly, things are always taken in new and different ways.

The first time watching the film, one sees him as an innocent victim to a sheltered life and an overbearing mother. He cares about her, cleans up her mess, and really did kind-of like Marion Crane. Then, when you watch it for the second time, it's much clearer. He is a great liar to strangers, but when we know what's going on, it seems so obvious. This also works, though, because his character, Norman Bates, really is innocent of murder; what he's guilty of is covering up his mother's crimes. He clearly doesn't enjoy having to send Marion's car into the swamp, but there's never a question that he wouldn't.

Norman Bates, so often calm, only trips up once, and that's when Arbogast comes to question him. He stutters, which is an obvious tell, but Norman still escapes because he subconsciously tosses the onus to his mother--and obviously she's not going to incriminate anyone. Later, in the third act when Sam and Lila visit to check it out, Norman is back to form, and despite getting caught, plays until the final beat.

The film is also a master of subtlety and coincidence. In the third act, a few times, the Sheriff attempts to explain the situation to Sam and Lila, but they cut him off or he gets sidetracked. Because of this, our curiosity is prolonged until the final scene where we get an secondary school psychology lesson. Questions arise before this point: Did his mother fake her death? Was someone else killed and buried instead of her? What does Norman mean when he says she's 'invalid'? Just who the hell is walking around the house in woman's clothes? And it all makes sense, back to the very beginning, when Norman said he liked to stuff birds. He mentions the chemicals that preserve them, which he clearly used on his mother's corpse.

One of my favorite lines comes from Norman (who else?): "She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes." On the first run, we assume he's just defending his mother. Why should he put her in "some place"? He belittles Marion and makes her feel cruel for even suggesting such a thing, but OH, the sweet irony of those words. Norman is literally 'mad' in the film, which is a mean twist on its own, but every other character also goes a little 'mad'. Marion steals $40,000, Arbogast walks in on an old lady who he knows he shouldn't barge in on (both on legal terms and from Norman's verbal contributions), and Sam not only becomes stand-offish with Norman, but almost seems to be making the switch from Marion to her sister. Lila appears to be the only rational person in the film, because even though she busts into the house and finds Mrs. Bates, wouldn't any sister do the same?

One could make the case for Sam as they have for Lila: Wouldn't any lover do anything to save them? I doubt it, because as we saw in scene one, Sam won't marry Marion because he's got alimony. I don't know about you, but if I cared so much about someone, I would want to marry them no matter how much money I did or didn't have. But Marion cares about him; that's why she stole the $40,000.

There have been many essays written on Hitchcock's direction, and I feel no need to rehash those here. But when his mastery of storytelling came together with this perfect script and these great actors, it made one of the best films of all time.

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2009 Oscar Predictions

This was a decent year for movies. I'm still bitter about the overall nominees, but there are some gems among them. I've never really hit a grand slam with Oscar predictions because I let my personal judgment overrule what I know is the front runner, but... oh well.

Best Picture:
Slumdog Millionaire, because not only is it the best film from the nominees, but it has won every single award up until this point.

Best Director:
Danny Boyle, for the same reasons: Not only was the film great, but he has won all of the major awards so far.

Best Actor:
Sean Penn for Milk, for a couple reasons. First, Milk won't win anything else besides Screenplay, and they will want to award it elsewhere. Also, he won the SAG, which has been fairly consistent in the last few years. Before that, when an actor lost the SAG and won the Oscar, it was to a widely seen performance that was over-the-top (Johnny Depp in 'Pirates,' for example). Here, the winner should be Mickey Rourke, but I need to accept that it won't happen. The only thing going against Sean Penn is that he won a leading Oscar in 2003, but I think that's long enough to not overpower the other factors.

Best Actress:
Kate Winslet for The Reader. She should have been nominated for Revolutionary Road, which was a better film in every single aspect, but if you're a woman in Hollywood and you strip, they kind of have to nominate you... and usually give you the Oscar (Halle Berry, for example). Kate is overdue for a win and in a film dealing with the Holocaust that is a Best Picture nominee. She will win.

Best Supporting Actor:
Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight. Is anyone going to argue this one?

Best Supporting Actress:
Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona. This is undoubtedly the hardest of the 'big' categories to predict. If I had my way, Amy Adams would win for Doubt, but if anyone wins it will be Viola Davis for a overpraised performance. More than likely, though, the votes will split. Marisa Tomei should win, but she already has an Oscar (granted, from a long time ago), so I'm going to stick with Penelope. She was nominated in 2007, clearly the most loved part about Volver, but no one was beating Helen Mirren. But here we have a beautiful, non-previous winner in a Woody Allen film, in a strong performance, who isn't white. Oscar loves voting for those kinds of people. She gets my vote.

Best Adapted Screenplay:
Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire, because that is by far the best script of the year.

Best Original Screenplay:
Dustin Lance Black for Milk. It won the WGA and is a strong script, so it will win. However, I think WALL-E and In Bruges were both better scripts (and films), but we won't get into that here.

More after the cut....

Best Editing:
Slumdog Millionaire, because, again, it deserves it. But the film also has 'flashy' editing, which voters like, and the film is superbly paced. I may change this a week or so from now after the ACE Eddies, but probably not.

Best Cinematography:
Anthony Dod Mantle for Slumdog Millionaire. This is a tough call, honestly, but this year I'm planning on a strong sweep from Slumdog.

Best Art Direction:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, because it makes sense to me.

Best Original Score:
A. R. Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire. Thomas Newman should win for WALL-E, but Slumdog is so loved it will take it. Well, and it's a great score. I'm actually listening to it right now. I'm seriously second-guessing my choice here, so if I'm wrong don't be surprised.

Best Original Song:
Jai Ho, but I'm beating myself up about this one. Part of me thinks Slumdog will split its own votes, plus Down to Earth is a great song. However, Jai Ho has a great dance number to it at the end of Slumdog that people are bound to have seen, so I'm going with it. Why not?

Best Animated Feature:
WALL-E, done.

Best Foreign Language Film:
Waltz with Bashir

Best Sound Editing:
The Dark Knight

Best Sound Mixing:
Slumdog Millionaire, though WALL-E would be nice.

Best Costume Design:
The Duchess

Best Documentary Feature:
Man on Wire, which was good but I didn't like it too much.

Best Visual Effects:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best Makeup:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, though don't be shocked if Hellboy 2 upsets.

Best Live Action Short:
Spielzeugland (shot in the dark)

Best Documentary Short:
The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306 (shot in the dark)

Best Animated Short:
Presto

And there they are!

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Review: Coraline

'Coraline' is an example of how a film designed for children can succeed in so many ways that a conventional, adult film cannot. The experience, from start to finish, is completely imaginative, with plenty of little nuances that make the story fresh and original.

The tale itself, can be boiled down simply: Coraline is a girl moved to a new place, is lonely, and doesn't like her parents. She then discovers a portal to an alternate world, and eventually realizes her life back home was not so bad. We've seen this tale before many times, but 'Coraline,' based on the Neil Gaiman book, has dark undertones that--if I was a kid again--would give me serious nightmares. The price to pay to live in this alternate reality is giving up your eyes, which are replaced by buttons, which are sewn in their place. Everyone has them, but when Coraline finds out she must give up her own, she's had enough. But by this point, getting back is not quite so easy.

Coraline is voiced by Dakota Fanning, whom I typically dislike, but here she does a superb job. Coraline's family has moved to the middle of nowhere from Michigan, and Fanning does a great job of capturing the Michigan accent. From the very beginning Coraline is a lovable girl, despite her bratty behavior and sarcasm. Children stories always portray the parents in a negative light, and for that reason we immediately side with the children. Coraline, however, isn't as kind to her new neighbor Wybie, who has plenty of gadgets and knows the folklore, but Coraline accuses him of being a stalker. It's true, he kind of is, so wouldn't Coraline be relived that in her alternate world Wybie cannot speak? She is at first, until she needs what he may be able to say.

The story borrows elements from all sorts of stories, some obvious, some a bit more obscure. There is a cat bearing a striking resemblance to the Cheshire Cat (sans stripes), and every time Coraline crawled through the tunnel to switch worlds, I felt like she would end up spending fifteen minutes inside the head of John Malkovich. The originality of the story far outweighs anything else, though. The film thrives on small comedy that would fail in a live action, normal film, but because it is done in stop motion and aimed for a younger audience, it seems more appropriate.

This is a film that has a crucial involvement with its own atmosphere. Some films exist to tell a story, but here the music, the motion, the sickness of the characters, as well as a small dab of black comedy, make a wonderful journey that should be taken this weekend.

Rating: 6.5/7

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Best Song: A Tough Decision

I've been pretty supportive so far of the Peter Gabriel song 'Down to Earth' from WALL-E as the best song in a film this year. However, I really like the song from the end of Slumdog Millionaire, 'Jai Ho.' Especially with the awesome dance number that comes with it. Here's a sweet video recently released. Note: There may be minor spoilers if you haven't seen the film.



P.S. Isn't Freida Pinto freakin' gorgeous?

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Faye Dunaway is Awesome

Despite being in many classic movies, including Network, Chinatown, the original Thomas Crowne Affair, and Bonnie and Clyde, Faye Dunaway is still badass, even today.

So there is supposedly being a remake of the amazing, original Bonnie and Clyde, starring Hilary Duff as Bonnie Parker.

When asked about this, Dunaway responded, "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?"

Owned? Yes, owned.

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Reevaluation of Watchmen

Upon first seeing the trailer for the upcoming film 'Watchmen,' I was moderately put off. The main reason was it had a tag of, 'From the visionary director of 300.' "Visionary Director?" What in the hell does that mean? Oscar Winning Director, I get. Visionary Director doesn't mean anything. That's even a step below 'Acclaimed ______ of ________.' Plus, 300 was really, really awful.

But Zack Snyder did direct the remake of Dawn of the Dead, which is one of the better recent horror movies, so he gets some slack.

Originally the concept of Watchmen seemed bland and confusing, with the trailer really revealing no plot whatsoever. But with the movie about to come out, I decided to pick up the original graphic novel to read beforehand. Let me tell you: This was a great decision. I can't put this novel down, it's so good.

I know the novel came out in ~1986, so I'm behind the curve, but cut me some slack. It's so interwoven and intricate that I have to force myself to stop reading it so I don't finish it in a day. Few books do that for me. I think the last one to do that was 1984.

I can imagine that it is a near impossible task to put this much material into a film, but hopefully it won't be a blown opportunity. I'm ready to accept that the film won't be as in-depth as the novel, but damn, does that trailer look better every time I watch it. I will definitely be there opening day.

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Top Ten of 2008

I know that January is almost over, but here is my belated top ten of 2008!

First, let me say that this year was not as strong as last year. Last year I had trouble just picking ten (you can see the list here), and while I've seen plenty of movies this year, few have had a lasting impact, which is somewhat required of all great movies. A movie has not done its job unless you're still pondering about it 24 hours later. This year, lots of films need to be fired.

1. WALL-E

I struggle with this choice, because choosing an animated film as my number one of the year seems taboo. Well, rules be damned, this is a spectacular film. Pixar has achieved such a significant level of storytelling that they scarcely even need dialogue anymore. WALL-E, both the robot himself and the film, possess an overwhelming compassion. WALL-E, with more determination than any robot has ever had before him, begins by pursuing his love for EVE, and ends up saving humanity. At first he tries to recover the plant to impress EVE, but along the way, somewhere, he realizes his purpose. Similarly, EVE transforms from a simple one-track robot to a real character, capable of more emotion than most characters in most other films. For these reasons, along with perfect animation, a great soundtrack, and a high 'cute' factor, WALL-E is the best film of the year.

2. Slumdog Millionaire

In my 'review' I copped out, saying that to reveal any plot details at all would dishonor the film and ruin the experience. I stand by that. This is not a film that is watched, but a story that is experienced. There is no better reason to go to the movies this year than to see this film. We shall discuss it later.

3. Revolutionary Road

Unlike Slumdog Millionaire, this is not a film for everyone. Revolutionary Road is a story likely to hit emotional chords with specific viewers, because its characters have big dreams and even bigger falls. The truth about life is that not everyone finds their happy ending or meets their one true love -- some people end up living in the suburbs and slowly die little by little every day. I have a feeling this is one of those films that will be praised ten years from now, but until then, be passed off as mediocre. Trust me, it is a great treasure.

4. The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke, as The Ram, struggles deeply with his identity, his past, and his addictions. What is so touching in this story of one man's life is not the actual wrestling, but how far his life has gone past its prime, and how determined he is to make it right, even after he blows it one time after the other.

5. In Bruges

I recently watched this again, and am thrilled that the film has a screenplay nod for the Oscars. Sure, the politically incorrect humor is funny, but behind the vulgar comedy is a fine layer of weaving between the characters and their actions that makes the film work. Each viewing leads to the picking up of something new, for instance, when Ken drops the coins from the top of the tower toward the end, he doesn't just happen to have coins (like most people), but they are the coins the clerk would not take way earlier in the film. Excellent.

6. Gran Torino

Can we all agree on something? Clint Eastwood is The Man. Not only is he one of the best actors to ever live, but he has directed many GREAT films -- not 'good' films, but great ones. Just counting recent years, we have: Million Dollar Baby, Letter From Iwo Jima, Mystic River, and now Gran Torino. Dealing with aggressive racial issues (sort of like In Bruges, but in its own way), Gran Torino is a spectacular film about acceptance, forgiveness, vengeance, and doing the right thing. No matter what you read, it will still not be what you expect, but you will enjoy every minute of it.

7. Iron Man

Yes, there is a superhero movie on this list. No, it is not the overrated Dark Knight. Iron Man is such a success because -- and this is fundamental to all stories -- we care about the protagonist, the man, the hero. Tony Stark, while kind of a jerk, makes us laugh, and laughter is the way to the heart, right? I think that's a proverb. This is a superhero film done extremely right, and the best since Spidey 2.

8. Rachel Getting Married

Seemingly strangely like a documentary, this film is a treasure. It uses a unique pacing style to include the audience as a member of the family, and by the end we still don't completely understand the dysfunction, but we appreciate it. Anne Hathaway has not been better, but the whole cast is perfect in this little film about what chunks of our past belong to us, which chunks are community canon fodder, and why some people can't stop being selfish, just for one day. But why should they have to?

9. Religulous

Bill Maher makes fun of every religion, pointing out all of the contradictions and implausible theories behind creationism, the virgin Mary, Jesus, etc. Not perfect, but very funny.

10. Milk

A film that is moving, because Harvey Milk was not just fighting for gay rights, but for the rights and equality of all peoples. He was beaten election after election, but through perseverance, determination, and a little luck, he succeeded. Again, not a perfect movie, but one that everyone could benefit from seeing.

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And that is it for 2008. Intentionally left off because they are undeserving of any 'best' list, or any 'Best Picture' nomination: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Dark Knight, The Reader.

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Worst Oscar Noms Ever

After two great years with multiple potential winners, I knew it had to come to an end.

Here are the Best Picture 5:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

You can see the full list here (don't feel like copy/pasting).

I'm glad The Dark Knight did not get nominated, but this is a horrible list. The only film that deserves to be on there is Slumdog Millionaire. The academy's taste is bland for the ordinary, bandwagon choices. I was prepared for all of these, though, except for The Reader, which, while decent, is complete trash compared to the dozen other great movies from this year that are much more deserving.

Revolutionary Road got shut out, The Wrestler got minimal nods, and I am very displeased. This will go down as 'one of those years,' in which the AMPAS messed up. They didn't even nominate Synecdoche, New York for Original Screenplay.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was a strong film visually, but its storytelling was overall weak. I'm glad David Fincher got a long overdue Best Director nomination, but Ben Button getting 13 nominations total? Sad.

Just when people get hope that the Academy may think differently -- delusions that maybe a 'comic book movie' or an 'animated movie' may break Best Picture, we're reminded that they are, more often than not, old and boring. They did throw the movie-going public a surprise, but what was it? Nominating a film about the Holocaust. Way to go back to a stereotype.

With all this said, I am 100% hoping Slumdog Millionaire wins every category it is in, because not only is it one of the top three films of the year, it is easily the best out of any of the films nominated.

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If I Could Pick the Oscar Nominees....

I hate predicting Oscar nominees. That means I have to get five things right in each category. What a joke. And I hate when people list their five, and then have an 'alternate' and a 'potential upset' and a 'dark horse.' What the hell is that? Picking eight choices? Such a cop out.

Now, note, I still have a couple movies to see from this year. I have, however, seen most of the notable films, so this is a close-to-complete list. Note: These will all be in order of preference.

Also, note, that these are highly chimerical and unlikely at best.

Best Picture
Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E
Revolutionary Road
The Wrestler
In Bruges

Best Director
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Sam Mendes, Revolutionary Road
David Fincher, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Andrew Stanton, WALL-E
Darren Aronofsky, The Wrestler

Best Actor
Leonardo DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
Sean Penn, Milk
Colin Farrell, In Bruges
Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino

Best Actress
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road
I have not seen enough great actress performances, so Kate Winslet wins by default

Supporting Actor
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Dev Patel, Slumdog Millionaire
Brad Pitt, Burn After Reading
Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt (bandwagon pick)

Supporting Actress
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
Kate Winslet, The Reader
Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristin Barcelona
Frieda Pinto, Slumdog Millionaire
Cate Blanchett, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Original Screenplay
Andrew Stanton, WALL-E
Martin McDonagh, In Bruges
Charlie Kaufman, Synecdoche, New York
Robert D. Siegal, The Wrestler
Woody Allen, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Adapted Screenplay
Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
Justin Haythe, Revolutionary Road
Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, Iron Man
...anything besides The Dark Knight

Best Editing
Slumdog Millionaire
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
WALL-E
Revolutionary Road
Frost/Nixon

Best Cinematography
Anthony Dod Mantle, Slumdog Millionaire
Claudio Miranda, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Roger Deakins, Revolutionary Road
Harry Savides, Milk
Wally Pfister, The Dark Knight

Not gonna bother with the rest, other than WALL-E for animated feature, obviously.

We'll see tomorrow!

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Review: Religulous

'Religulous' is one of those 'documentaries' that seems more like stand-up comedy. As Bill Maher, the main man of this production says, he is not promoting atheism. He is promoting doubt. His talks with authorities of various religions, as well as a few scientists, are entertaining, but the film crams in a huge epiphany toward the end. It seems like Bill Maher had his film done, but a studio exec said to him, "Bill, this is funny, but what does it mean?!" This is a touch of death to most works of art, and that situation applies here as well.

Maher himself was brought up in a 50/50 house, split between Judaism and Catholicism. He rags on all religions, some we are familiar with the origins of (Christianity, Catholicism, etc), some we, in the West, aren't too familiar with (Islam, etc.). The film gets joy by pointing out obvious contradictions and flaws of the Bible to religious fanatics and seeing how they fumble as they try to defend themselves. One example is how nowhere in the Bible does it say Jesus was born of a virgin. Apparently, this was all made up. His logic is that this does seem like something so significant that... why would the people who wrote the New Testament leave it out? If it was even remotely true, it wouldn't have been.

Anyone who knows me knows that I think God is (to steal from Daniel Plainview) a superstition. While I enjoy seeing Maher make jokes and poke fun at religious inconsistencies, it seems that, spare a Jesus impersonator, none of his opponents are worthy of a debate. This Jesus impersonator can keep up with Maher (whether his arguments hold water is up to you--I think not), and at least he has answer for all of the questions. Unfortunately, most people don't. They misquote scripture or contradict themselves, which is humorously accented by constant splices to films, movies, scientific authorities, religious authorities, or even simple subtitles.

The problem with these constant interruptions is that they only contribute to the actual film about 40% of the time. The other 60% are just wasted space. Maybe they needed a way to break the 90 minute runtime barrier. Who knows? Regardless, the choice is poor. Overusing anything effective effectively kills it. If I type every sentence with an exclamation point, not only would it seem like I'm shouting, but they would lose their effect. However, if save the use of the exclamation point for one really important idea, people will notice it, and there will be a 'wow' factor. In 'Religulous,' Maher uses exclamation points at the end of every sentence.

At least the film does not take itself too seriously. The camera crew is constantly visible, which is a good choice here. If we were watching Maher lecture us straight for 100 minutes it would be monotonous. We are constantly reminded that this is a documentary and not a film for a theology class, which I can imagine makes people who would normally be offended feel more comfortable.

I spoke of the ending. It escalates to a tremendous wave of 'religion causes death and destruction.' That point may be true, and maybe people do become terrorists for their religion. But that feels not only out of place in this film, but so rushed that it's a complete shift from lighthearted stick-poking to propaganda. Maybe propaganda is too strong a word, but that is what it felt like.

And for these reasons, I give the film a 5.5/7

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Review: Milk

I'm feeling lazy, so this will be short.

Milk is a good movie. Not great.

Rating: 6/7

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The Globes Were Good (For Once)

Tonight was the 66th Golden Globes, and usually the Globes string together a mess of disappointing wins. Not tonight. For once they got almost all of the categories right.

The high point of the night was Kate Winslet's double win. She notoriously gets overlooked during awards (both the Oscars and the Globes), and tonight she won for The Reader and Revolutionary Road. The latter was so well-deserved and I'm very happy for her.

Also, Slumdog Millionaire won a slew of big awards, including Best Picture - Drama, Best Screenplay, Original Score, and Director. Fantastic and the right choices all around.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona won Best Picture - Musical or Comedy. Surprising, yet the right choice. Go, Woody Allen.

Some other great wins:

Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger
Animated Feature: WALL-E
Comedy Actor (TV): Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Comedy Series (TV): 30 Rock
Comedy Actress (TV): Tina Fey (30 Rock!)
Comedy Actor (Film): Colin Farrell (for In Bruges, a great movie that hopefully won't be overlooked anymore)
Drama Series (TV): Mad Men
Lead Actor, Drama: Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)

Actually, there aren't any awards here that I'm upset with. Kind of the perfect ceremony. If only the Oscars go this way, too....

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Review: Revolutionary Road

When reduced to the basics, there are two types of stories: comedy and tragedy. Revolutionary Road is a film so gripping that being a fly on the wall of a suburban home has never been such an emotional drain, except in maybe one other film--American Beauty. Not coincidentally, both films are directed by Sam Mendes.

Revolutionary Road takes in a short time span of the lives of Frank and April Wheeler, two 30 year-old people living in the 1950s. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet play the leads, and again, prove why both of them are two of the best actors of this generation. The film almost immediately has our two characters break into a fight about how their lives are going. Right away it's clear that Frank is one to talk things out so they can be resolved quickly. His words are often so truthful and penetrating that they hurt. April, the complete opposite, believes that silence is the answer. She just needs to think. As with all relationships, when the members have the opposite ideas as to how to solve a disagreement, like Frank and April do, it ends badly.

Frank is stuck in a boring day job that he hates. He admits he hates it. His father worked at that company for twenty years, and he always hoped to God that he wouldn't end up the same. The only place he'd ever felt alive was when he visited Paris.

Despite having two kids, Frank and April's marriage can best be described as failing. April has given up on her aspirations to be an actress and now stays at home with her two kids. Monotony and routine are killing this family. And suddenly, on a whim, April thinks to move to Paris. They have money saved up. Frank can figure out his calling. She can get a secretarial job to support them. It seems perfect. This is their fantasy, their hope, their dream, and it resuscitates their marriage. They tell their friends and finally feel like they're living again, while ignoring a few practical problems, the looming one being that in the 1950s it was completely unacceptable, socially, for the woman to support the family by herself.

The cast of this film is small, but each character pulls one of the strings to the story. A 'insane' son of the Wheeler's friends is introduced to our protagonists to help him be rehabilitated. The Wheelers are seen as the perfect couple from the outside, but they are anything but that. Instead of the normalcy of the Wheelers rehabilitating this insane man, his lack of tact and reserve tugs the truth out of others, forcing them to realize their faults out loud instead of letting them brood.

The film is a refreshing example of how strong a film can be with bare essentials. To tell a fantastic story we don't need million dollar special effects or a huge cast. You need real, true human emotions, human problems. When watching this film, you may sympathize with both Frank and April, but undoubtedly feel that one is 'right' and one is 'wrong.' Each person will have a different opinion and a different reason why. That is why this film is so great--the concepts of right and wrong are blurred to the point where nothing is discernible other than what these characters feel.

Rating: 7/7

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Review: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Benjamin Button is in the unique position that he was born an old man and ages backwards. This is an interesting concept, done especially well in F. Scott Fitzgerald's original short story, but the film embellishes so many details that we linger too long on an easy to grasp concept and not long enough on what makes Benjamin Button a human being.

The original text was very different from the film. The only real similarity is Benjamin Button (played by Brad Pitt) and his condition. In the story, he is raised by his father, and there is a moral, physical, and philosophical problem when the child looks older than his father, and then they look like brothers, and then finally they swap back to how they should look. The film, instead, has Benjamin's mother die in childbirth and the father abandons him on a doorstep. This is a step backwards, going from an original idea into a comfortable stereotype that people will seem to 'bond' with.

The film is also told in flashbacks as Elizabeth, in a hospital in New Orleans just before Katrina, is visited by her daughter. The daughter reads Daisy the journal that Benjamin left her while he was still old (or, young) enough to write. What a tried and boring premise, honestly. The story would have been significantly better if it was just told straight with voice-over from Benjamin. The narration doesn't need to be justified. Like Nike: Just do it.

Part of me wishes I had not read the original text, because having done so, it is very easy to find flaws in the film. Fitzgerald knew that the aging backwards concept could not carry a whole novel, just as it cannot carry a 2.5 hour film. Fitzgerald made his work short, whereas director David Fincher (whom I usually enjoy immensely) and screenwriter Eric Roth (Munich, Forrest Gump) didn't pick up on that thought.

There are many good moments in the film, which I guess corresponds to the film's tagline: "Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments." The film doesn't take off until Benjamin meets Daisy, who is mentally the same age as Benjamin, but aging naturally. She senses a connection to him, and despite his appearance, she knows that they are alike.

The heart of the story is muddled at best, with some focus being paid to Daisy as she gets older (and turns into the lovely Cate Blanchett) and Benjamin gets younger. Benjamin realizes what it is like to do solid work (he was not a lively energetic kid, remember, but a crippled old adult for his younger years). Daisy goes to become a professional dancer. As much time as we spend with the characters in the film, their actions never make sense. With any character, what they do does not have to be something we, the audience, would do, but we should never doubt that the character is capable of something. Why do Benjamin and Daisy continue to elude each other? Even if they can't figure it out, we should be able to.

In summary, the film feels flat. Fincher and Roth attempt to make a grandiose film about one man's entire life, but they only ponder on the surface level issues of Benjamin's case. The elements were in the original text, and why they didn't carry them over, I have no idea.

Rating: 4.5/7

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Review: The Wrestler

Note: New reviews coming daily for a few days for supposed Oscar contenders. Consequently, a Top 10 of 2008 coming soon as well.

Wrestling is fake, no? Sure, maybe the thrown punches and body slams are fake, but there is some brutality and a bond of self-mutilation that comes with the territory. Randy "The Ram" Robinson stores a piece of razor in his bandages so he can cut his forehead. He does this while he's down so when he is thrown into the corner it looks like that blow caused his head to bleed. Those chairs aren't fake and the glass is real: You still have to be able to take one hell of a beating to be one of those 'fake wrestlers.'

The Ram is played by Mickey Rourke, who could easily be a wrestler in real life. In the time of the film, The Ram is 20 years past his prime. Yet interestingly enough, little of the movie takes place in the actual wrestling ring. The Ram has a day job stocking a grocery store and on the weekends he works a local wrestling circuit. To everyone who is not a fan, he's a joke. His boss continually cracks jokes. The Ram asks for a raise, and his boss quips, "Did they raise the price on tights?"

The most important thing in Randy's life is, without question, wrestling. He flirts with Cassidy, a 40-something woman who works at a local strip club. She's often passed over because of her age (but let's be honest, it's Marisa Tomei, and she's definitely still a hottie) and it seems Randy is the only one who appreciates her. But he's a customer and she's a mom. She knows stripping is a job and her personal life and work life don't, and cannot, mesh. She is fond of Randy, though, and even helps him reconnect with his estranged daughter.

Randy's daughter Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood) is Randy's last hope to have someone in his life as he grows old. But, estranged as she is, she's pissed. She knows her dad is a fuck-up and she knows he shouldn't get another chance. Their relationship, while not taking up a big chunk of screen time, is pivotal and sad. Evan Rachel Wood has teen angst down to an art, here even better than in 'Thirteen.'

Darren Aronofsky, director of the great 'Requiem for a Dream,' mediocre 'Pi,' and horrible 'The Fountain,' manages to change his tone dramatically. While those three films were grim and dealt with supernatural circumstances, 'The Wrestler' is amazingly grounded, both in concept and execution. We never doubt the characters' sincerity in their actions. Oddly, all four films are about obsession, so maybe there is still a running theme.

'The Wrestler' feels like a handful of lofty unachievable dreams pulling its players through the dirt. Wrestling, while it has shaped The Ram's life, now seems to destroy it. But he can't stop. It is who he is. He's a failed father, he's unloved, and the ring is all he has left. He feels at home there, and by the end of the film, we all do too.

Rating: 6.5/7

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Review: Slumdog Millionaire

I wrote a long review of the film, but deleted it. I will save all of my comments for when I make this film a 'Movie to Study,' which it is if there ever was one.

Slumdog Millionaire is a mystery and to remove the surprises from it would be a crime. Instead, I will simply list adjectives: Slumdog Millionaire is gruesome, uplifting, violent, real, gritty, romantic, optimistic, humorous, determined, and above all else--fantastic.

See this film. If you do not, I don't know if we can be friends.

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Sounds Like Terrible Cover

I really like Flyleaf. Solid CD and their acoustic stuff is good. However, browsing YouTube, I saw a video of them covering Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. Oh. My. God. I want five minutes of my life back.



Check it out. But not all of it. I'm scarred for life. Just watch like a minute.

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Random Grammar Note

This has nothing to do with anything, but I really like when this phrase is in a sentence: thoroughly thought through.

It's just so mellifluous. Also, I guarantee it would cause a double-take to any reader and make anyone reading your work out loud take a second to recollect their thoughts. Try it. It's fun.

For reference, this post was not thoroughly thought through.

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Movies to Study: Bringing Up Baby

I usually try to keep the Movies to Study column about films that are fairly recent. You can go almost anywhere and find essays on why Citizen Kane or The Godfather are perfect films. Tonight I was watching Bringing Up Baby and my sister came into the room. I paused the movie and said, "Do you know who that is?"

"No," she replied.

"Katherine Hepburn. Do you know who she is?"

"No."

Then I went forward a couple frames and did the same thing for Cary Grant. Same response. It's sad how most people in the young generation have no clue who these people are, yet they are icons and have been in more great films than almost any of the actors working today. So in order to champion my cause of pushing older classics, that is why Bringing Up Baby is the newest Movie to Study.

The heart of this film is a romantic comedy, and for a film made in 1938, the material is still fresh. A lot of these jokes and setups are still used in comedies today. There's some slapstick, some puns, some general turmoil, misunderstandings, crazy characters, cross-dressing, and leopards. All necessary elements for a successful comedy.

The main reason this film succeeds is simple: because of Katherine Hepburn. There are no two ways about it. The script is fantastic, and Cary Grant sells his part well, but Katherine Hepburn does her best work in this film. Not one film historian will agree with me on that, but damn them all. With so many great performances on her resume, I still love Susan Vance the best. In this film she is described as on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Is she really going a little crazy, or is it that being around Cary Grant makes her feel that way? She admits late in the film that nothing she did was ever thought through other than how it would keep him with her. In old movies like this there didn't have to be a crazy stalker agenda, or a strong sex drive, or relentless pursuing of another person. The only thing we feel is that Susan needs David (Cary Grant). It also helps that Kate Hepburn was quite young in this role and played a part dependent on another person, whereas in a lot of films (and in her life) she was controlling. Nothing wrong with that, but when her character is the other way around, it's more endearing.

The film digresses to calamity towards the end when everyone is in jail. It feels like a cut reel from a Marx Brothers film. My one gripe with the film is that the jail scene goes on a tad bit too long, but that is more than made up for when, in one of my favorite scenes from any movie, Susan returns to the jail dragging in 'Baby.' Oh. Baby is a leopard that has come into Susan's possession. It's one of the many trifles that tie her and David together, along with a dinosaur bone (he's a paleontologist [or, as Susan would wrongly call him, a zoologist]), a suit, a million dollar grant, and a stolen car.

The plot of the movie is sort of a roundabout of events, one piling on top of the other. Most comedies do do that. Fortunately, Bringing Up Baby manages to keep everything in line and is very subtle in the details it brings up. When Susan first gets the tame leopard from her brother Mark, she reads the letter: " 'He's three years old, gentle as a kitten, and likes dogs.' I wonder whether Mark means that he eats dogs or is fond of them?" When one person reads the letter, I'm sure they interpret that one way and one way only. Interesting that Susan would think both ways. Also, of course, they have a pet dog named George.

One problem with modern comedies is the predictability pattern. At least with bland comedies. Irony has become so commonplace that it almost never surprises anymore. If a character goes to a bar and says, "I hope Mike isn't here," every single time Mike is going to be there. Movies like Bringing Up Baby had it right. I don't want to ruin it, but there is a scene in the woods (when they are hunting the escaped leopard) where Susan mentions that something should not be a problem, and then immediately after, the characters fall and we see she was wrong. There is no time to really comprehend what happened, because the joke knows it doesn't have to linger. The film understands that the audience should not be given time to think--they must be forced to move with the film. Oh, and in that scene, Susan's justification for her error is also brilliant.

I haven't even addressed the issue of David's fiancee from the beginning and end of the film. What's also great here is that we get all of our exposition in, literally, the first 3 minutes of the film. We find out David is engaged to Alice, that they won't have a family of a honeymoon, but she wants to marry him because they share a career. Obviously he's unhappy with this. We also get that he's awaiting the delivery of the last bone to complete his brontosaurus (this bone is another plot device). Afterward, we can focus completely on David's relationship with Susan.

The film was a complete failure when it was originally released. Why? Who knows. We could possibly put it down for 'ahead of its time.' Since this was 1938, that's not too hard to imagine.

I promise that if you watch this film you will be entertained. It is better than 99% of the 'comedies' released these days. And if you don't like it, honestly, you have no appreciation for good humor and should go back to watching 'Meet the Spartans.' Bringing Up Baby is on par with the best.

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