A Quickie, or Two

Two recent Netflix viewings:

First was Cassandra's Dream, a newer Woody Allen movie. Interesting movie, but it seemed like a mix between Match Point and Before the Devil Knows You're Dead -- both of which are far superior movies. Watch one of those two instead. 4/7

Margot at the Wedding, the latest movie by Noah Baumbach, was delightful. Naturally there was a lot of similarity to The Squid and the Whale, but I found Margot to be a more mature movie. The relation of immediate family (sisters) seemed to work better than of a husband and wife of Squid. I would highly recommend this movie. 7/7

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'Choke' Trailer

So a day or so ago the trailer for the film adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's Choke went online. You can view it here.

This is a prime example of how an adaptation can ruin a great book. Well, maybe not a 'great' book, but a good book. From the looks of it, the comedy fails miserably at transferring to the big screen and just comes off as tasteless. Is it Sam Rockwell's delivery? A big part of me thinks so.

It's for reasons like this I don't want to watch the movie Lolita. Loved the book. Love Kubrick. But from what I've read, Kubrick destroyed the script he asked Nabokov to write for him, and I think the movie will ruin my love for the book. Not that Choke is in the same ballpark, but it's the same sport.

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Top Chef -- High Steaks

A little pre-episode commentary (this is kind of a live blog): I hope either Lisa or Antonia goes home this episode. If not and one of the other three don't make it to the finale I'll be pretty annoyed. With that said....

What an epic Quickfire Challenge. Butchering chops into singles, how fun. The only thing that would make this more fun is if Rocky Balboa was punching a slab of cow in the background. But the cutting of the chop isn't the whole challenge. They have to cook a perfect medium-rare steak for the guest judge. Hmm...

I'm not a big fan of Padma sporting the Kate Hepburn look. Or her bad puns. But hey, you can't win them all.

Go Spike with his amazing butcher skills. Too bad Stephanie is just awful at all the Quickfire Challenges. The cutting part, at least. But Stephanie's looks delicious. Odd that the judges aren't trying the steaks... something must be up.

As expected, Stephanie's butcher skills fail. Richard... I'm so over this guy.

Go Spike, winning the challenge! My boy is tearing it up. Now he gets to pick first what protein he wants for his appetizer and entree in the Elimination Challenge. But as we know, from before, he screwed it up. We'll see.

Yay for Chef Tom being back. Also, we get some Gail and no Ted. Why do I bother pointing that out every time? It is pretty cool they brought the former winners to eat, but they do that in every reality show, so whatever.

Damnit, they didn't like Spikes appetizer. But they also didn't like Antonia's, so there's still hope.

Richard's entree looks delicious. And with his appetizer, it seems like he's going to win again. Sweet....

Man, and Spike bombed on the entree, too. Okay, so all season I've accepted he's not the best chef, but I play favorites, so he should get to the finale based on that.

I'm glad they liked Stephanie's dishes, though. She's my real favorite. I would kill to have either Antonia or Lisa go home.

Oh man, the chefs are drinking wine out of plastic Solo cups. I'm glad people on television roll the same way I do.

As dumb as it was for Spike to call the guest judge out for having frozen scallops in his cooler, he was right. And him immediately regretting his decision was pretty funny. But looking at the way the judges were talking, it seems like Spike is going to go home. I've never been more hopeful for tricky reality TV editing. But that's more of a VH1/MTV trick.

Awesome that Stephanie won. I like her a lot. Two wins in a row, holler.

Not surprised Richard is going, and kind of annoyed Antonia is going. But, she did cook well. Meh.

And of course Spike goes home. I hate reality TV. Oh well Padma, I'll still marry you even though you sent my boy home.

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Death Proof: Less Fun More Film

Tonight I watched the Death Proof segment of Grindhouse for the first time since theaters. While I think it's stupid that the two Grindhouse movies are marketed separately, I think Death Proof benefits from being singled out.

But what I realized tonight was that I like Death Proof: It is a good movie. But what keeps it from being great is Tarantino forcing himself into this box of botched film and campy scenes, when the movie would benefit from just being a slight homage -- and more importantly, not just a homage to himself.

I'll admit I like Tarantino's stuff. Reservoir Dogs, while not the greatest movie, is good. Pulp Fiction is a great movie. I didn't care much for Jackie Brown, and the Kill Bill movies were good-to-great.

Needless to say I noticed all the references to his previous work in this film before I saw it in the IMDb trivia. The fact that a character has a ringtone of the whistling theme from Kill Bill, or Big Kahuna Burger is tossed into casual conversation don't really harm the movie from a writing standpoint, but it does do two things. First, it pulls Tarantino's fans out of the scene, and second, it seems self-indulgent. And it is. One or two allusions I can deal with. But they just keep coming and coming and coming. It grows tiresome.

In my opinion what Tarantino should have done is made Death Proof as his own project -- still with all the love for old car movies and whatnot -- but taken it more seriously. No scratched film reels, or missing scenes, or endless self-indulgence. No using the same cops from Kill Bill, no abrupt ending (though honestly I could live with it as-is, but what happens to Lee should be addressed).

If Death Proof was treated more like Kill Bill, it would've been a great movie. Instead of just good.

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RIP Sydney Pollack

Cancer claims another victim. Sydney Pollack died Monday, which is pretty unfortunate. Though he hasn't directed a movie in a while, he was still giving memorable performances as an actor. Like in that 'Please silence your cell phones' commercial before movies (sponsored by AT&T), and as Patrick Dempsey's dad in Made of Honor.

No, but seriously. This is sad. What's with all these celebrities dying this year? Heath Ledger, Charlton Heston, Sydney Pollack... if Woody Allen dies I'm just going to flip out. Knock on freaking wood.

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Top Chef -- Restaurant Wars

So David Cook won American Idol. Who cares? Not me. It was an easy prediction.

The Quickfire this week was to do eggs for breakfast in a short-order diner. Seems like a pretty crazy task. I mean, not the cooking, but the fact you have to do so much crap so fast.

And of course Antonia won again, so I'm annoyed. I'm becoming less of a fan of the Quickfire challenges.

Restaurant Ward is the Elimination Challenge. Antonia picks Stephanie and Richard for her team. Smart choice, since they're probably the two best. So that means the other team is Spike, Dale, and Lisa. God, Lisa needs to go.

And of course Dale wants to do Asian food. Again.

I think I'll like this challenge, though. None of that bullshit where you have restrictions on your menu or budget (well, ridiculous budget restrictions). This time, it's just do something you want, and do it well. Sure, it's still in teams, but hey, what can ya do?

I think it would be more fun spending $5,000 at Pier 1 than both the cooking and shopping. Maybe I'm watching the wrong reality show?

Chef Tom taking leave sucks. I wish I knew more about Anthony Bourdain.

So the last four eliminated contestants are back, and each team gets to pick one to bring aboard. And, of course, the two people I don't like get picked to come back for the episode: Jen and Nikki. No Mark or Andrew? Weak.

Lisa keeps having problems with rice and burners. Jesus, girl. Maybe you should not make rice for one fucking episode. Oh, but wait. When you try a soup, you completely fuck it up. Good job.

Again -- no Gail. Sweet. But at least Padma looks gorgeous. I'm going to marry her.

Watching the actual food come out, it looks like another clear-cut victory for Stephanie/Richard/Antonia. Not only did their dishes straight up look better, but the judges liked them all better. I think some of the problem was genuinely the bowls and dishes Spike's team used. They should have gone with clean-looking plates like the other team.

And I really don't like Anthony Bourdain now. Or the other guy who is a guest judge. Seriously, give me Tom, Padma, Gail, and Ted. Every episode.

Thank God someone other than Richard won the challenge. Go Stephanie! What a sweet prize, too. A trip to Spain to taste wine and stay in luxury hotels? Amazing.

The other team was just a train wreck from the beginning. And I'm glad Spike stayed out of most of it by taking the front of the house. Smart move, as the guest judge noted. And I don't know whether I like it or dislike it when at judging the contestants hate each other and point fingers. I think it makes it more interesting. Maybe...

So Dale got sent home. Good, I guess, but I'd rather see Lisa go. Shit. Why is she still on this show? She's awful.

Stephanie and Spike, my two favorites, are in the final five! Holler!

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Netflix is Heartless

Okay, not necessarily 'heartless,' but here is their description for the movie Waitress:

Written by director and co-star Adrienne Shelly (who was murdered shortly before the film's selection for the Sundance Film Festival), Waitress is a frank and funny examination of the fears brought on by impending motherhood. Keri Russell plays Jenna, a waitress whose fabulous pies are about the only sweet ingredient in an otherwise dreary existence. An unwanted pregnancy, however, brings unexpected romance in this film co-starring Cheryl Hines.

Am I the only one who finds the mention of Adrienne Shelly in the first sentence a bit unnerving? Why is that even relevant? It seems like they're almost using that as a reason to have people choose this movie as their rental.

But in related news, the movie itself was very good. I was surprised, and Keri Russell is great when she's not playing Felicity. I'll give it a 5.5/7.

For further information on Adrienne Shelly's death (unfortunate, indeed), go here.

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Two Quick Reviews

Two movies I saw recently:

Made of Honor was pretty bad. Charming main characters, but I couldn't help wondering why I had to watch them go through everything in the movie when they could have, and should have, been together three minutes after the opening credits. Some decent moments, but overall nothing special. Rating: 3/7

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, on the other hand, was very enjoyable. A great sequel to the original film, Prince Caspian brings the series toward some darker themes. But there are still the standard deus ex machinas and characters that exist simply to help further plot and nothing else, so the movie is not flawless. But for what it is and how it brings the source material to the screen, I give it a rating of: 6/7

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In Theaters May 16

A quick week here, yet again. It seems we're down to only a single wide release in theaters May 16th.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian || IMDb

It seems the general consensus here is either love or hatred. Same as with the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But I enjoy movies in all genres, and the first Narnia movie was a good adaptation of the beloved series. We have the same director and writer as before, so I think this will be another good movie. Who am I kidding, though. You are already set on if you want to see this movie and nothing I say will sway your opinion.

Jon's Pick of the Week: Narnia

DVD Release of the Week: Oh God, do I really have to pick one? The Great Debaters, I guess. But I did buy City Lights on DVD this week. You should, too.

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Top Chef -- Serve and Protect

I love the drama coming out on my TV show. Since Top Chef is getting further into the season I like seeing people talk shit.

Reinventing the salad for the Quickfire Challenge is a pretty hot topic. I love a good salad, as do most people. But as Padma said, the salad is in a slump

Lisa saying, "There are people here who don't deserve to be here," is ironic because I think she's the worst person still on the show. Seriously, STFU. That's why you were in the bottom three of the Quickfire [and later the Elimination Challenge].

I'm pretty psyched Spike won the Quickfire. Of course he finally wins it when there is no more immunity. Oh well, my boy is tearin' it up. And what a sweet advantage. He gets ten extra minutes to shop, as well as choosing an ingredient in each food group no one else can use. Sweet.

So the Elimination Challenge is to make some unhealthy food into a healthy meal. Spike picks bread, tomatoes, chicken, and lettuce. Thank you Andrew for saying that, "Most of the people in the house are stupid. Wahh to them, they aren't creative enough to make something. Will they have to now." I like this guy more each episode.

Whereas Antonia pisses me off more and more each episode. Sure, I'm mainly spiteful, but she bugs me even when she says things that are normal. Though I like her reading my mind and saying all Dale does is make Asian dishes. Seriously, Dale needs some variety.

I don't know if I would want to judge this competition. I'd have to spend like 40 minutes microwaving all these dishes. And again, this episode we have Ted Allen to judge, and no Gail. And I love Padma's jacket. And Padma.

It bugs me that Dale won the challenge. Yay, let's keep making Asian food until final three. Oh well, Stephanie was top two, so I can't complain.

I feel sorry for Andrew, getting chewed out at judging. Sure he studied nutrition and made a dish, but he didn't follow all the rules. But the worst was he kept arguing. Maybe humility would be a better way to go?

Spike handled the situation not well either. Chef Tom had to put him in his place, which also bugs me, but hey, Chef Tom was correct. His opinion is the one that matters. Not the ones of the officers.

And Lisa is just a bitch. No one messed with your burner. I'm glad the judges don't care.

I'm not surprised Andrew got sent home. He had a worse dish and didn't follow the rules. But God, this means Lisa is around for another week. Fucking shit.

Ideal top 3, and my prediction: Stephanie, Richard, Spike.

And because I didn't say it yet, I'm going to marry Padma.

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Box Office Trends -- No Love for Original Dramas

Lately I've been wondering: When was the last time an original drama movie had huge box office success? It seems like everything these days are adaptations, remakes, sequels, or based on true events. When it's not those, it's often a comedy with big name stars. I think it's interesting how the stats pan out since the year 2000. Note: All numbers taken from Box Office Mojo.

Movies not counted will include: Remakes, sequels, adaptations, and biopics. I'm not going to count Pixar movies either. Pixar makes exceptional movies, and I think they are in a league of their own. Let's just not count animated movies, either.

We'll start with 2007 because 2008 is young.
-Highest Grossing Movie: Spider-man 3. Then we have the Shrek sequel, Transformers, some Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, etc etc. The highest original movie is Ratatouille, which placed 11th. 13-15 are Wild Hogs, Knocked Up, and Juno. Three comedies. It's not until we get to 31, The Bucket List (which some may still consider comedy), which grossed a mere $93 million. Not until rank 55 do we see Michael Clayton, which is the first movie on the list to be original, critically acclaimed, and not a comedy.

2006
-The top movie here is Pirates of the Caribbean 2, which is no surprise. Though next we have Night at the Museum, which had the second highest gross. Yay for original content, but this is a comedy with big stars. If we consider Click a drama, that takes the prize at number 13. Inside Man wins for the original, critically acclaimed drama award, at number 22 with $83 million.

2005
-Star Wars Episode III, Narnia, and Harry Potter take the top three spots. Wedding Crashers comes in at number 6. Again, a comedy with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Mr. and Mrs. Smith broke into the top 10, but we all know why. I thought the flick was awful, but America apparently didn't. Other notables is Hitch at 11.

2004
-Shrek (2), Spider-man (2), and Jesus (The Passion) are the top three. The Incredibles has a high ranking, but also we see The Day After Tomorrow at number 7, which as far as I can tell is an original screenplay. Potentially our best year yet.

2003
-Lord of the Rings, Finding Nemo (which I love), and Pirates of the Caribbean. Bruce Almighty and Elf rank highly, but it's not until The Last Samurai at number 20 where a drama comes into play. But then again, I'm not sure how original that story is. We'd have to go a long way down the list though to find anything else, so we'll stick with that.

2002
-Spider-man, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter... do we see a trend here? My Big Fat Greek Wedding hits number five--a comedy I did not much appreciate. Signs comes in at number 6 though, which is a high score so far. I'm not too big into Shyamalan, but I still give him props for being sort of an auteur.

2001
-Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Shrek, Pixar. Our highest original is Spy Kids, which I'm not enthusiastic about counting. But alas, it's number 17. The Others comes in at 21.

2000
-How refreshing! This seems to be the year before some trends came around. Number one is The Grinch, but number two is Cast Away. Sure it had Tom Hanks in it, but we have an original, dramatic film at the number two spot. Also, Gladiator at number 4. This will be a good stopping point.

The top grossing movies of '97 and '98 were Titanic and Saving Private Ryan--both original screenplays, though Titanic was based on actual events.

So what have we learned? It seems we're in a new age for the money-making movies. Adaptation has always been around the movie, but recently it's a large trend of remakes and sequels. They're safe bets and will always bring home the cash. But I'll tell you what. Spare The Bourne Ultimatum, I would take Before the Devil Knows You're Dead over any of the top 10 grossing movies of 2007.

I guess original dramatic stories, at this moment, are plagued with a home in the independent film circle. Unless they luck out, but we all know how that always ends up. Or doesn't.

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Top Chef -- The Elements -- Part Deux

I know no one really cares but me, but it's my blog, so whatever.

Today I was watching a rerun of the old Top Chef episode from this season called The Elements. This is the episode where Antonia wins immunity, and she's teamed with Spike and Zoi. And Zoi goes home.

Now, I realized this the first time but it didn't matter so much to me. And honestly, it's probably all editing, but here's what it seems like:

Zoi was Jen's girlfriend, so naturally Jen was sad she went home. But what happened was Jen got pissed off at Spike. Why was she pissed at Spike? Because he was still there and not sent home? He's not the one who chose the dish, that was Antonia. Jen should have been pissed at Antonia for having them do a shitty dish. Spike wanted to do soup.

Granted Spike was being a little arrogant, saying how he should do whatever it takes to get his way (be an asshole, etc.), but still, it's not his fault Zoi went home. If anything, it was his 'fault' that the judges felt he was a better cook then Zoi. Either way, I don't get why Jen was pissed at Spike more than anyone else, and that bugs me.

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In Theaters May 9

Again, there's only two major movies opening May 9th. One looks to be super entertaining, yet potentially very awful. The other looks boring and certainly awful. Oh, where to start?

Speed Racer || IMDb

When I was a kid I loved me some Speed Racer. The cardinal problem is: Can the Wachowski brothers conjure up enough material to fill a big screen time slot? They did give us 'The Matrix,' but also forced us to sit through two crappy sequels. The Coen brothers, they are not. Yet I'm sure this will be a joy to watch, regardless of the inevitably bland plot. Plus I like Emile Hirsch a lot more since Into the Wild, and I've had a thing for Christina Ricci since she was in Casper (and I was 10 so that's not as creepy as it sounds). What is it with this movie bringing back childhood memories? Nostalgia, here I come.

Rating: Opening Weekend

What Happens in Vegas || IMDb

I like Ashton Kutcher a lot. To be honest he's never done any good movies, but I can't help liking the guy. Unfortunately my man-crush is canceled out by Cameron Diaz, who I think is quite possible the least attractive star on the Hollywood A-List. But besides that, I'm also spiteful against the movie for its excessive advertising well before it came out. I don't mind seeing trailers for The Dark Knight or WALL-E dozens of times, but I think trailers should be more to promote awareness than brainwash viewers with thousands of repetitive showings. I shall coin this term Movie Trailer Tact. Over-promoting a movie makes people sick of it, and this is just one example.

But honestly, like every other movie of this nature, we can all safely assume a pile of unfunny material peppered with occasional joke that is genuinely funny.

Rating: Download

Jon's Pick of the Week: Speed Racer

DVD Release of the Week: I'm Not There (haven't seen it, but it's a lesser evil)

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Top Chef -- Wedding Wars

This week the Quickfire Challenge was a relay race, which is pretty epic. I love when Dale was talking to the group, and people were complaining about making mayo. And he's like, "Why are you here?!" Brilliant, I was wondering the same thing about Nikki and Lisa.

Pretty sweet though, seeing how much work it is to peel oranges, deal with artichoke, slay that monstrous dragon into filets, and make your own mayo. However, Dale going into a tantrum upon losing is not cool.

Andrew is growing on me. I like how honest and ridiculous he is. "I have a culinary boner right now." Brilliant. I'm also a big fan of Padma's jacket. Mainly because she's wearing it, but it is still pretty fabulous.

The Elimination Challenge is a Wedding Wars theme, and I agree with Spike and his comments on Team Stephanie (I will call them that because I like her) picking the bride. Are you kidding me? The Bride Team would probably be harder, but hey, whatever.

Antonia really bugs me. "I feel like I'm in the army... peeling potatoes." GTFO of my show.

Dale kind of bugs me. He complains a lot, but honestly, most of the things he says are true. I don't like Nikki, and he's right -- she just wants to control things but not to take responsibility. Yet on the other hand, Dale needs to not bite off more than he can chew.

It's pretty ridiculous how long they cook for for this challenge. All night, yes, but all morning, as well. They have until 11:00 AM to cook, and we can assume they got up, at the latest, about 10:00 the following morning. I think no matter who you are, that would be exhausting (obviously?). Plus they have to sit through the wedding and serve at reception. Ridiculous.

Why is Ted Allen not on this episode. Seriously, this is getting old. And, WHAT is with Padma's red dress? I mean, I love me some tight clothes on beautiful women, but I think I'd rather see her in jeans and an airman jacket. The flower in her hair helps, though. Actually, we could put her in a wedding dress in preparation for our wedding. Wedding Wars for Season Five, I can see it now: Jonathan Beck and Padma Lakshmi.

As for the teams vs. each other, from when the teams were randomly picked, it was clear Team Stephanie had an advantage. It looks like their dishes tasted better, but if one thing is for sure, Stephanie's cake looked freaking awesome. And actually like a wedding cake. Not like a battleship, as Chef Tom said.

Why is Richard winning everything. Honestly, it bugs me. Give me some variety. I'm glad he gave it to Stephanie though. She's my girl. And I guess I like Richard a bit more for sharing his gift certificate.

I think a piece of helpful criticism for the editors of Top Chef would be to, regardless of who is speaking, always have the camera on Padma.

Man, Dale at the Judge's Table is kind of a bitch. Okay, I think I'm just hating cause he went at it with my boy Spike -- who actually stood up for himself, unlike the two girls on the Groom's Team. And the judges liked his dish the best, so.... yay.

Yes, I'm so glad Nikki is gone. Sent home. That was kind of my prediction, since it seems the judge's value people who step up and look down upon people who don't want responsibility, who don't accept everything that comes with their dishes greatness or failure. Remember the episode where Spike stayed and Manuel went home? Prime example.

Oh well, here's to next week!

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Iron Man Review

Iron Man was a solid 8.5/10. And I saw it for free, so that doubles the score. So it was a 17/10.

Also, like my friend David says, it was good because, "The character is always more interesting and important than the superhero." Yes.

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In Theaters May 2

Not much comes out this week. So little, in fact, I probably won't need to use the expandable post feature. Anyway, here are some movies in theaters May 2.

Iron Man || IMDb

When I saw the first trailer I was left with a good impression. I like Robert Downey Jr. a lot: He has this strange charisma, in a likable prick kinda way. But what's surprising is on Rottentomatoes, the movie has a 94% regular critics, and 88% top critics. Needless to say, that bumps the movie from 'should be entertaining' status to 'first good blockbuster of the summer' status.

Rating: Opening Weekend

Made of Honor || IMDb

It's tempting to rant about Grey's Anatomy here, but I shall not. Instead, I think we'll just all be safe in the assumption that there will be plenty of cliches and predictable plot points in this movie. At 101 minutes, I'm positive that is about 94 minutes longer than the movie should be.

Rating: Download

And that's it for wide releases this week. At least we have one winner.

Jon's Pick of the Week: Iron Man

DVD Release of the Week: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (DVD Release of the Year so far)

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