So once in a blue moon there's a cop who sits outside my apartment building (because it's by the community entrance) and does about as much work as Ron Livingston's character in 'Office Space' (for those of you who don't know, I'm talking about when he's playing Tetris and eating Cheetos).
Tonight I was going out and he was parked a space over from my car. I take a quick glance inside his car, and you know how they have that little monitor that comes out from the dashboard which I assume they use to look up license numbers or donut store locations? I look in and see him watching a movie on it.
I had no idea what movie it was, but clearly it wasn't a police training video, and clearly it wasn't surveillance on an area that needed surveillance.
That annoyed me.
4.30.2006
4.28.2006
Premiere magazine listed the "top 25 screenplays," and I figured I'd comment because I'm bored.
Link
1. Casablanca
2. The Godfather
3. Chinatown
4. Citizen Kane
5. All About Eve
6. Annie Hall
7. Sunset Boulevard
8. Network
9. Some Like It Hot
10. The Godfather Part II
11. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
12. Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
13. The Graduate
14. Lawrence of Arabia
15. The Apartment
16. Pulp Fiction
17. Tootsie
18. On the Waterfront
19. To Kill a Mockingbird
20. It's a Wonderful Life
21. North by Northwest
22. The Shawshank Redemption
23. Gone with the Wind
24. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
25. The Wizard of Oz
I'm glad they showed some love for recent movies ('Eternal Sunshine' and 'Shawshank').
Top 2 were the correct placings and I think anyone who's seen both would agree, though which is the better movie overall is debatable (I say 'Casablanca' but that's just me).
'Some Like It Hot' and 'Godfather II' should've been a few places higher, and I'm glad Woody Allen's 'Annie Hall' got a top 10 placement.
Nice to see 'The Graduate' represented as well.
'Pulp Fiction' should not be on that list, especially at #16.
'On the Waterfront' should've been ahead of 'Dr. Strangelove,' same with 'It's a Wonderful Life.'
Glad 'Wizard of Oz' and 'Gone with the Wind' are on there, and their placings are appropriate. Amazing movies but their screenplays aren't too phenominal (but, obviously, still good).
Overall I give this list: 8.5/10
4.26.2006
I love Animal Planet. Whether you need cute little monkeys or vicious snakes eating alligators, there's something for everyone.
However, the one terrible thing on this channel is their attempts at humor. I'm watching a "The Most Extreme Body Parts" show or something.
Anyway, there was one animal at number 6 or so, and it's thing was its huge feet. It was a bird that could walk on water (kinda). When it was over the narrator said, "Even though it put its best foot forward, the ______ still isn't the most extreme." Terrible puns are awesome.
Also, there was a crab, and the narrator says, "Crawling ahead in the countdown..."
"Anteaters getting tongue-tied..."
It's not just on this show either. On a commercial it showed a donkey headbutting a mirror and said, "Watch this and stop beating yourself up."
So, so bad. But I love it.
4.24.2006
Sidenote: 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' by Deep Blue Something (the song) owns.
So I got a paper back today and had a pretty good grade. I flipped right to the back to see my grade and where on the rubric I scored high (grammar and style, the other stuff was 'strong'). I did the usual reading of the comments my teacher wrote on the paper, then I got to the back page, which is the feared Works Cited list.
To my surprise, I see no corrections to my MLA citations and a 'Good!' written on the blank space.
Now, for those of you who have... gone to school... you know what a bitch MLA form is. When to use a comma, when a period, when a colon, when to italicize, when to underline, how many spaces after a period (no, it's not always 2), when you need volume numbers, when you don't, when to put all the author's names, when to use 'etc.,' and so on and so forth. For this paper I used 7 sources, and somehow I flawlessly got them all down. I think this was a first (for a scenario in which I had to do it all myself and used more than a couple sources).
I was more pleased with getting the MLA form right than with the numerous good comments I got on my actual paper or the grade itself, which I think is a little funny. I'm thinking about framing it.
What, I'm learning? Blasphemy.
4.23.2006
4.21.2006
To start with the good or the bad?
American Dreamz - IMDb
Paul Weitz has had some solid movies. I love 'American Pie,' 'About a Boy,' and 'In Good Company.' 'American Dreamz' shows his first major failure as a writer/director.
I think my expectations were a bit high, but regardless, this movie fails as a comedy, as a satire, and as a whole.
This movie was a common case of "all the funny moments were in the previews, therefore not funny in the movie." A lot of the jokes tried to run on the steam of traditional comedy setup, but the problem with this is that the whole movie (except the ending) was extremely predictable. Nothing fresh was brought to the screen, and freshness is a necessity for satire to not seem dull.
The ending was a terrible borderline deus ex machina. If I want a ridiculous ending I'll go watch 'Match Point' again.
Dennis Quaid, Mandy Moore, and Hugh Grant all hit a low point in their cinema productions, which is sad because I know Quaid and Grant have both worked with Weitz before. That, and Mandy Moore is just a terrible actress in the first place. Even Willem Dafoe couldn't save this picture.
Generously, I'm going to rate this movie: 5.5/10
Thank You For Smoking - IMDb
A little late on this review, but oh well. As opposed to 'American Dreamz,' this is a good example of how satire should work, and work it does.
From the first scene of Cancer Boy on to the closing with Katie Holmes getting beaten with branches there are many moments of laughter. The only real gripe I have is that occasionally the jokes came on too hard too fast, not allowing time for the audience's laughter to subside so we can hear the following dialogue.
But that's just nitpicking. All the actor's performances were exceptional, especially William H. Macy and Aaron Eckhart. This definitely made up for the tragedy that I reviewed previously in this post.
Rating: 8/10
There's a Catch-22 to some writing exercises. Example: I was in my Creative Writing class, and as sort of a fun "final exam" we were supposed to go back to why we originally began writing - not worrying about grades and grammar and whatnot - just writing what we felt at the moment (so basically a journal entry).
Now, the teacher prefaced the exercise by saying that no one would be forced to read them out loud, she wouldn't even have us turn it in, and it was just for us. Then she said that whoever wanted to read theirs could.
Doesn't giving people the option to share eliminate the point of writing for just themselves? I'm sure some people did just write what they wanted, but the people who usually volunteer think they're funny and aim their writing at the audience, wanting to extract laughs or praise. So in actuality, by giving the option of sharing, the teacher eliminated the authenticity of private thought, resulting in faux work.
This I can deal with, but for the most part people were just trying to show off how "cool" they were by mentioning drinking or smoking or "how much they have to do" or whatever else they think will impress their peers, when in reality it just makes them look like a jackass.
Thinking back now, it would've been pretty funny if I wrote this up and read it out loud before anyone else, but that in itself is another Catch-22, so I guess it's better I just kept mine secret.
4.20.2006
Some Like It Hot IMDb
AFI voted it the #1 comedy of all time... I don't know about that, but there are many laughs to be had while watching this classic. Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis do outstanding jobs as the cross-dressing band members, and the scenes with Curtis playing 'Junior' are some of the funniest I have ever witnessed. I'm talking 'Peter Sellers as Jacques Clouseau in "A Shot in the Dark" and "The Pink Panther"' funny. Definitely the highlights of this movie.
Aside from those two, Marilyn Monroe, as expected, is gorgeous - playing the 'not very bright' girl perfectly (probably because it's true?).
Ok, I'm short on time. I might edit this later with more (but probably not). But seriously, if you can find a copy (I now have one, so yay), see this movie.
Rating: 9/10
Edit 9/2/08: 9/10? What was I thinking? This movie is a definite 10/10, and one of the few films that no matter how I feel, I know will always cheer me up.
4.18.2006
Time to take a quick break from my work for a rant.
First off, if you can get your hands on a copy, read the short story "The Blossoming of Bongbong" by Jessica Hagedorn. I'm rarely fond of American Lit, but this is fairly recent (1975) and is one of the better contemporary pieces in my 3000 page textbook.
Literature aside, I hate when the people working the fast food windows are incompetent. Getting the wrong order or missing items is quite annoying, but at least get your greeting right. When I pull up, don't try to carry on a conversation with me. Sometimes they ask "How are you doing?" I answer with "Good," because I really don't care (and neither do you), then they just sit there, expecting me to go. They don't even follow-up with a "Can I take your order?"
This is often quite confusing.
Either say "Welcome to ______, may I take your order?" or "Welcome to ______, I'll be with you in a moment." It can't be that hard.
4.15.2006
Ok, time for a quick session of movie reviews from the last week. However, since I'm lazy and also don't want to waste your time, here's the thing: one sentence movie reviews. So here we go.
Jarhead - 6/10 - IMDb
While having a few noteworthy moments, overall this seemed like a poor version of Kubrick's 'Full Metal Jacket' and should be avoided unless you're stranded in the desert just like these guys, because your 2 hours is better spent elsewhere.
Stay - 5/10 - IMDb
Going for the whole mind-blowing angle and missing horribly, this movie leaves too much open to interpretation (as opposed to just the right amount) and doesn't provide enough juice to keep the engine running throughout the movie's duration.
Two For the Money - 5.5/10 - IMDb
This flick started out fairly strong but lost heat quick as it went from a fast-paced "darker side of the business" angle to a "life lessons" angle, leaving the viewers with 40 minutes of entertainment, 40 minutes of writing that must've been taken from a Chicken Soup book, and 40 minutes of scenes that should have been scrapped in the editing room.
Prime - 6.5/10 - IMDb
For the most part predictable, and despite it's weak ending, an overall enjoyable movie where we get to watch Meryl Streep agonize over Uma Thurman dating Bryan Greenberg, though it's more likely she's weeping over their lack of acting talent than their 14 year difference in age.
4.12.2006
As some of you may know, I went on a trip to Europe after my senior year of High School ('03), hitting up London, Paris, Rome, and Venice.
I saved a lot of the stuff from my trip, such as brochures, ticket stubs, postcards, and whatnot. Over the last, I don't know, "while," I've been using this brochure/pamphlet/map of Santa Croce (some art museum/gallery) as a bookmark because if anyone looks at it they'll think I'm cultured (which, while true in some manners of speaking, is for the most part a complete falsehood).
So what the Hell does this have to do with anything?
I was in my English Lit class and we were discussing 'A Room With a View' by E.M. Forester. The book is some post-Victorian crap about a girl who learns to appreciate art (maybe, I didn't actually read it). So we were sitting in class and I was reading 'Lolita,' because let's face it, class is usually boring, and I randomly heard her mention Santa Croce, and I was like "wait a second, that's what my bookmark is from!" (thinking that, of course, not saying it) So she then asked if anyone had been to Italy and wanted to describe in detail the stuff they were talking about in the book. I almost raised my hand until I heard the second part, because quite honestly I only remember a select few things from my trip, despite it being one of the better experiences of my life. So naturally I just sat there and continued reading about nymphets.
It was an odd coincidence.
4.11.2006
For one of my classes we had an assignment that required reading of articles about a text, then summarizing the article and relating it to other articles in our textbook. The paper length is 3-4 pages, and mine came out to be about 4.
So I print off my paper and works cited page, and the teacher wants a copy of the article we chose to use (makes sense, right?). I go to print off the article, and it is 15 pages. Ridiculous. I have a feeling my teacher is just going to give me an F and write "I don't see how you fit a 15 page article, another article [note: that's about 10 pages], and lots of Jane Eyre references into 1,000 words."
Oh well, I've done worse.
4.08.2006
Celebrities adopting kids is one of the latest trends. If I recall correctly (my knowledge of celebrity gossip is pretty small), Angelina Jolie adopted, and I think Jessica Simpson is now too. I Think Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman adopted a few kids.
Now, on one hand, lucky kid, growing up with rich and famous parents. Must be a pretty good life. However, it's all a raffle, and what if you were up for adoption and got picked up by some really scary celebrity, i.e. Michael Jackson (just a random example). That would suck.
I think I would rather stay homeless or swallow battery acid than be adopted by Mariah Carey, Sharon Stone, or Queen Latifah. Seriously - poor kids.
4.05.2006
In an unorthodox turn of events I wasn't late to class today, which was nice since for some reason my teacher (English Lit) brought in tea, cookies, and various other British treats. I had some, and they weren't bad. We were talking about 'The Importance of Being Earnest,' which wasn't bad either.
Flashback to last night. The teacher for this class posted out grades online, which consisted of in-class writing grades and our Paper 1 score. For my paper grade it said "36." Considering I got an 87 on the assignment, this raised a big "what the fuck?". I debated emailing her, but I had class tomorrow (today) so I concluded I'd just talk to her then. No point in worrying since I still had the original assignment, right?
So now we're back in class, and I go up and talk to Dr. H. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Is the online grades for our papers, uh, out of 100 points?
Dr. H.: Yes, actually I needed to talk to you.
Me: Yeah, cause it says I got a 36, but...
Dr. H.: I know, I did that because I didn't have your grade, well, I did, but it was a 36, and I don't know why I had that written down. I posted that because it would be too much to explain in an email and I wanted you to come talk to me in person.
Me: ...Is this a scare tactic you use often with your students?
Pretty cruel in my opinion. If I was someone who worried a lot over crap like this, or if I lost my original paper, I think it could've been much worse. I guess I'm a bit predictable (in both going to talk to her and not really sweating over this whole thing), but is that really a bad thing?
As for the resolution, she wrote down my real grade and is going to change it and I snagged some more cookies before I left and they were delicious.
4.02.2006
The Wedding Date IMDb
Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney star in this highly predictable, mind-numblingly boring 78 minute film about prostitution, infidelity, and Air Supply.
This movie is better watched on mute than with sound, because that way you can think up better dialogue in your head than what is actually going on in this gruesome "screenplay." I put "screenplay" in quotes because it seems more like a Chicken Soup story than an actual movie. My 12 year-old sister writes better stories than these (though, to her credit, she's pretty bright).
(side note: I used 'than' excessively in that last paragraph, like whoa...)
I'm all about good, cheesy romantic comedies, but movies like these are the reason I sometimes pass on the chick flick invites. The acting was stale and Dermot Mulroney's ass making multiple appearances was definitely not the high point of this movie, contrary to what some people may be thinking. I would've rather spent those 78 minutes doing something productive, like sleeping. I would've been more entertained throwing cards into a hat than I was watching Mulroney and Messing have PG-13 un-erotic sex.
Who should see this movie: No one.
Rating: 3/10
4.01.2006
In regards to this post (I think), I got my American Lit paper on Hemingway back today. My grade was a 90, so yay. That was the high point of my day.
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