5.26.2006

X-Men 3 rating: 7/10

It was watchable, but Jesus H. Christ, what a disappointment. So many lame plot points, they should've let me rewrite the script. I'm going to type the next part in black, so highlight it if you haven't seen the movie yet or don't care about major spoilers.

-I don't like Cyclops because he's a whiney "emokid," but he was a main character and him dying the way he did was lame as fuck.

-The dialogue was terrible. Some examples include when Storm says she can fix the clouds (just fucking do it, we don't need you to explain your powers in the 3rd movie), 'Not everyone can heal as fast as you, Logan,' anything said by the Juggernaut, and when Ice Man tells Pyro he should've stayed in school.

-Speaking of which, Ice Man head-butting Pyro was lame as fuck. He shoulda froze him to death or something.

-Too much Jean Grey/Phoenix. Yeah, she's a supreme being. (And really hot.) We get it, but it was so overhyped. Plus her looking like a zombie was kind of a turn off.

-Rogue losing her powers and playing only a tiny role was stupid. They should've cut out all the stupid shit like Porcupine Man and Tattoo'd Emo Goth Girl and had more of the cool shit like her stealing Magneto's powers and using them against him (which kinda happened in the other movie, sort of...).

-What the fuck happened to Nightcrawler?

-Angel got a lot of hype for such little screentime.

-Mystique turning back to a human should've played a more important part in the movie.

-Speaking of which, that was the only part of the movie I felt emotionally attached to. It wasn't Xavier dying (which was kinda odd), or Wolverine's seemingly forced "I love you" to Jean, or Cyclops dying, or Storm's eulogy, but when Mystique took the shot, then Magneto just left her alone. That made me sad. There was too much going on with too little emotion.

-Deux Ex Machina Mutants. Yea... Multiplying mutant? Mutant-finding Mutant? Ok, let's just make a mutant to compensate for lazy writing.

-Fucking terrible cliche ending with Magneto moving the chess piece.

-Wolverine being the 'hero nice guy' was too fast and pretty boring.

-Fake-out with the Sentinels was lame as shit. That training room shoulda been the real movie.

-How the fuck would some newbie mutant with little training (the superfast, mutant locating one) be able to own Storm, who is fucking... awesome? Makes no sense.


Ok, I think that's all of it.

So, in conclusion, major disappointment and a total shift from two great movies beforehand. Easily the weakest of the series.

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