Oscar Live-blog (Sort Of)

When the shows starts, during commercials, I may or may not come back to edit. Does anyone actually read live blogs after-the-fact? Note: All times will be according to EST.

8:30 Aaaaaaaand, we're off!

8:35 Hugh Jackman's writers are pretty solid this year.

8:38 Opening dance number with all of the nominees: Pretty funny, too. Especially since it makes fun of no one seeing The Reader.

8:42 Love Meryl Streep, and also, not a bad montage of acceptance speeches.

8:48 I liked these intros at first, and they're interesting, but taking WAY too long (Sup. Actress).

8:49 YAY, Penelope Cruz! Great win, and I'm 1/1.

8:51 Great speech. No one is going to top Penelope. Love her. Especially since she thanked Woody Allen.

8:55 Tina Fey presenting the writing Oscar? Hot.

8:59 Dustin Lance Black for MILK, as expected. Good script, not better than WALL-E or In Bruges, though. Oh well, 2/2.

9:00 Good speech, Dustin. Why are they jumping to Adapted Screenplay already? To cut down runtime? Sure, why not.

9:03 The Slumdog clip gives me chills. Love it. Also, Simon Beaufoy, of course wins. Amazing screenplay. 3/3.

9:04 Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black? I'm going to hate whatever this is. Both of them suck. Looks like Animated Feature, though. Looooooooooove WALL-E.

9:09 Yay WALL-E! Though, Jen Aniston's attempt to say it like the character was just AWFUL. 4/4. Andrew Stanton owns.

9:11 Ugh, they're back. Animated Short: wtf is this movie that won. I'm not going to judge cause I didn't see it, but better than Presto? Doubt it. 4/5.

9:19 Art Direction. Uh oh, I'm nervous. Honestly, any of these could win.... 5 great nominees................ but Benjamin Button wins. Which means I win, at 5/6. Solid.

9:21 Stop stuttering, Daniel Craig. This must be costumes. Another strong category. The Duchess wins. God, I'm good. 6/7.

9:25 God, still on Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker? Shit. Well, now it's makeup. Again, a strong category. The Dark Knight should not win though. Which is true, because Benjamin Button won. I'm on fire! 7/8.

9:27 This kid who played Edward in Twilight looks like he's on drugs. Does he have ADD or what?

9:30 Best romance of 2008: Obviously WALL-E and EVE. I really want to watch Revolutionary Road again.

9:35 Ben Stiller is not funny. At all. Please, Natalie Portman, save us. Cinematography. Slumdog Millionaire wins! Yay! 8/9. And not just 'Yay' cause I'm dominating, but because the film totally deserved it.

9:40 GOD DAMN, Jessica Biel is hot.

9:45 James Franco in this comedy tribute, infinitely funnier than Seth Rogen.

9:48 Live Action Short... Janusz Kaminski, pretty hilarious. Uh, I predicted Toyland, but... Oh, ok, just kidding, that one did win. I rule? Yes, I rule. 9/10.

9:54 What is this musical? Good concept but it is failing pretty terribly. Hugh Jackman should quit singing, IMO.

10:05 Great Supporting Actor clip. Love it. Some really great winners over the years.

10:05 I'm already feeling the sadness that Heath Ledger isn't alive to see this.

10:09 Heath Ledger wins, naturally. 10/11. I don't think this was a sentimental win, in the sense of sympathy votes. It was honestly the best in the category.

10:14 Looks like Documentary categories coming up. Uh oh. I wish I had seen more of the nominees, honestly.

10:17 Bill Maher, not a great presenter. Plugging his own film. Sad. Oh well, Man on Wire won. Not shocking. 11/12.

10:19 Short films ruining my life. Let's see.... God damnit, missed this one, too. Why do these shorts always get me? 11/13.

10:27 Love Will Smith. Terrible jokes but he still delivers. Charisma. Yes.

10:29 Visual effects. Benjamin Button has this in the bag. Or it should. If not, something is F-ed..... Yeah, Benjamin Button won. 12/14. Good pick, AMPAS.

10:30 The sound awards are coming up, and I'm gonna falter here. Watch. I'm trying to beat the crowd on these.

10:32 OMG I love WALL-E. But I predicted The Dark Knight.... And The Dark Knight wins. 13/15. I rock?

10:33 Sound mixing, I have Slumdog. Another tough one. These are hard to judge. JUST KIDDING. I'm not sharing my formula on this one. I'm awesome. This is also an AMAZING win for such a great film, and it looks like Slumdog is unstoppable. 14/16.

10:36 Editing. What a great category. I think if I was in film and not a screenwriter, I'd like to be an editor. Slumdog Millionaire again, not surprisingly. Again, so deserved. 15/17. How many awards is Will Smith going to present?

10:38 I love how excited Danny Boyle looks for all of his crew winning. It's great.

10:43 Humanitarian award? Cool. Wake me up when it's over. Best part of this is the WALL-E score in the background. 'Define Dancing' is the best melody from WALL-E. Am I a nerd? Or a fanboy?

10:52 I love a good score for a movie. Shame all of these can't win. I wonder what they will play from Slumdog. Hopefully not O...Saya or Jai Ho (though they are both great). Hopefully Mausam & Escape, or Aaj Ki Raat. Yay, Define Dancing from WALL-E! Ok, Dreams on Fire from Slumdog. Not bad. Though it was only about 15 seconds. If that.

10:55 I love Alicia Keys. She should present every award. Mainly because she's great to look at.

10:56 YES! Slumdog Millionaire wins score! Fantastic. 16/18.

10:58 Original score. All three of these were fantastic. Who knows. YES! Performance! Please do Jai Ho dance!

10:59 Down to Earth is a great song. I'm sort of anticipating a win for it. Maybe an upset? Looks odd with the Hindi extras, though.

11:01 Jai Ho, not near as impressive without Dev Patel and Freida Pinto dancing. I'll go back to the CD. This mix of the songs is terrible, IMO.

11:03 Jai Ho! Winner! Love Slumdog Millionaire. 17/19.

11:07 Freida Pinto presenting! This show just got a lot better.

11:09 Foreign Language always has a surprise. I'm pretty sure I;ll be wrong. Yup. See, wtf? No one was predicting that, everyone was saying Waltz with Bashir, or The Class. Owned? Yes, I got owned. 17/20. Damnit Freida.

11:12 I hate Queen Latifah. GTFO. I'm all about remembering people, but GTFO of the stage. Oh God, she's singing now? Seriously?

11:20 Hate Reese Witherspoon. Learn to count. There are four awards left, and three people. Not one.

11:22 David Fincher looks pissed and bored. Probably because Danny Boyle cleans up this category easily. Well deserved. Love it. 18/21.

11:24 Great speech, Danny Boyle.

11:27 Wow, the 5 women presenting Best Actress are all amazing. Great ensemble. Is Shirley Maclaine wearing pants? Wow, Marion Cotillard is hot.

11:30 Kate Winslet, nominated for the wrong movie. Oh well. Sup, Halle Berry.

11:32 You know, if we cut out acting awards and all the praise for them, the show would be half as long. Again, entertaining, but let's just get to the award.

11:33 Kate Winslet proves if you get naked and play in a Holocaust film, you win. Not that she didn't deserve it. I love her. 19/22.

11:37 Kate Winslet is cute.

11:38 Best Actor: Infinitely more interesting. This clip is amazing. I'm going to miss this category.

11:39 Adrian Brody needs a haircut. No Daniel Day-Lewis?

11:45 YES! SEAN PENN! Thank God. Great victory. For me and Penn, obviously. 20/23. God, I'm so glad he won. So, so deserved.

11:48 Great speech Sean Penn. I guess it helps when you're not wasted (like last time).

11:50 Love these tributes. But how bad was Frost/Nixon?

11:51 Slumdog Millionaire: Best film of the year. The Reader--overrated.

11:54 Slumdog Millionaire Best Picture! Amazing. 21/24. I rule.

Great show. I'll update in a bit with more thoughts.