Vote: WALL-E / EVE

Inevitably as it comes closer to the time of election, everyone over the age of 18 will be asked: "Who are you voting for?" And if you agree with the asking party, you'll be praised, and if you disagree, expect either a long debate or a long stare of disapproval.

In times like these, there's really only one safe way to vote. And that vote is:

But why? A candidate should not be voted on strictly because of his or her cuteness and emotional appeal. We, as voters, should take into consideration a candidate's policy on all fronts. But unsurprisingly, WALL-E and EVE dominate both Obama/Biden and McCain/Palin.

Environment

We all know that we're wrecking the Earth. Whether you believe in global warming or not, it's hard to deny that all the trash we make and energy we waste will be a problem eventually. But no one knows that better than WALL-E, the candidate with first-hand experience with this issues. WALL-E is an everyday man, going to work with his lunchbox just like the rest of us. He has lived through what the other candidates only predict will happen.



WALL-E's running mate, EVE, is a female Vegetation Evaluator. Have any of the other candidates spent their whole lives searching for and rescuing plants in order to restore life to its home planet? I think not. How can they compete with this?

Women

Are you voting for McCain/Palin because you'd like to see a woman in office? I should hope that's not your only reason, but if it is, consider WALL-E/EVE. EVE does not equivocate -- you know exactly what she plans to do. Are any of the candidates this straightforward? No. EVE is a strong-minded individual who is looking out for the best of us and the betterment of the planet. Does Palin fit that bill? Maybe. But she has to wear glasses. Can we really count on a vice president with poor eye sight?

Equal Rights

Let's examine a paparazzi shot of WALL-E with his best friend.



WALL-E's personal life is filled with diverse individuals, and judging from his actions, I find it impossible to think he would allow anyone to be considered a second class citizen.

Energy

WALL-E is a known advocate of solar power. Why use batteries when one can run for days on the sun's natural energy? Why oil, a finite resource, when solar power will last for centuries? WALL-E understands our needs and is already in action.



With these issues at the front of the WALL-E / EVE campaign, I don't see how anyone can vote otherwise.

Have a question about the candidates' policies? Feel free to inquire in the comments.